The Numbing

There is a Dilbert cartoon, (which is a comic strip in the paper I really disliked before I started working in a large company, but I now can fully appreciate) where everyone in this office is gathering to watch "a numbing." Of course whatever department it really was is whited out and it now reads "protein immunology," which shouldn't significantly change the humor of the whole thing, but nevertheless does. So the intern asks all the people gathering to watch, "what's a numbing?" to which they reply, "it's the point where an employee's mind numbs to the pain of working here...It's really quite beautiful." It's seriously very fitting of my position now. I love my job, I really do, and I love the people, but it's still painful most of the time. I figure I must like emotional pain, whereas I cringe from actual pain. When I graduated from high school, I actually started to crave the pain I used to be in while running speedwork in track, which at the time made me cry at even the thought of going to practice to run these evil rituals. True, there was very real physical pain involved, but more than anything it was discomfort, and my mind was telling me I was tired and wanted to stop. Then again, most runners need a high tolerance for pain, because so much of running is a matter of mind over body, and the difference between actual fatigue and what we perceive as fatigue is a wide gulf indeed. Apparently it's impossible to stimulate a single muscle into true fatigue outside of a lab without help from electric currents. Of course, many people pass out running because they're tired, but that has more to do with a lack of sufficient energy nutrients or water, or injury to muscle. Point of the matter: if you concentrate on something other than what you're doing you can ignore the pain for the most part.

I think the same is true of work, or at least that which I prefer. To be perfectly honest if it were up to doing just what I wanted all the time, I'm not sure if I would do anything at all, so this job is as good as any other, even with the stress, which ultimately I prefer because it keeps me motivated. I get bored really easily. Which brings me to now. Maybe it's the holiday, or maybe it's the weather, but in the allergen world...It's very slow. Fortunately, I've been numbed several times before; "several" because at severe moments of crises I break like a log in the mouth of a T Rex, and thus I start the cycle over again. Right now I'm not sure where I am in that cycle, because there are no big problems, for a change, on my bench. I do believe the cold I have has separated me from the real world though, and I don't really want to do anything at the moment. Fortunately there's nothing to do at the moment, but I do hate to not look busy. On the bright side, I get to take cold medicine, which makes me feel immune to gravity, and that's definitely more pleasant to focus on than work.