Tooley

My friend The Blaze is moving to Tooele. We make fun of him for this every opportunity we get. The only thing I remember about Tooele is going fishing there, and from a distance seeing the huge crater in the middle of the desert that they saw fit to call a lake. It was a man made reservoir, like so many in Utah, but couldn't they have at least tried to fake the facade a little? Put some trees out there? We now tell Blaze we're going to bring him a fake plug-in fountain and a chia pet as house warming gifts, so it will seem like nature's not so dead out there.

It turns out that in addition to that man-made monstrosity, Tooele also has sky diving. I learned that though Tooele is practically a hole in the ground in the middle of nowhere, not all of it is gross looking--at least not from the sky. Down close it's still not all that pretty, but from the air it's actually gorgeous. I'll still bring a chia pet the next time I go down that way, but my opinion is slightly altered.

The plan was to Sky Dive in Vegas for Fun Week. I'm actually glad we didn't. Though fun, the basis of Fun Week is sporadic--good 'ol not planned--fun. And I like the fact that the things we do are not bringing out the big guns at all. They're mostly cheap and fun mainly only for the ones participating. Anyway, I assumed sky diving would never happen as it was placed in the "things we should do eventually" bin. But my friend Sheidi decided years ago that for her 30th birthday she wanted to go. After my sky diving plans fell through, she asked if I wanted to go with her. I said "heck yeah". It happened to fall on Easter weekend. I worked. But I managed to drag myself out of bed at 230 am, for good old times' sake, and was able to finish up with work by noon. I then drove to Lindon to enjoy Easter festivities with my fam. I kind of thought it was just my immediate family, but it turns out it was the whole McSomethingkins clan. I took loads of pictures of my nieces and nephews mainly, turned down chicken and turkey burgers in better interest of stealing someones hot dog, ate lots of food in general, hid plastic Easter eggs (managing to drop one of them down a water pipe that will likely be launched across the lawn at a later date), and left amid warnings from my sister that "bungee jumping sucked, and falling is not fun."

She was wrong by the way. Sky Diving was something I wanted to try out of curiosity, not really excitement (though I wanted to go when younger), and it wasn't until I was there that any nervousness manifested itself at all. We watched a movie, in which I realized it was more a strategic process than I had thought, signed waivers, waited, then dressed up in funny little suits. I decided to shell out a little extra dough for a cd of pictures taken by some guy with a camera on his head following me around, and I'm glad I did the first time even though I never will again. My tandem master was married, had a slight beer belly (which it turned out made it easier to keep my back arched like a banana like I was supposed to), and looked a lot like my brother-in-law only with long hair and a braid. Sheidi's tandem master was the embodiment of gorgeous and perfect, and I was still bitter even though it was her birthday. He was from South Africa, but I swear the accent sounded more Bulgarian or something, and I hope if I go again I get to go with him because I'd like to be able to do more tricks going down. My guy was quiet, so I was left to freak out on the inside, and he only told me what to do on the plane, which was actually better. We only covered the practice landing once the chute was out.

The plane was small, blue, and there were 5 parachutes on board. We heard a great sky diving joke from my tandem master, and got to see Tooley in all it's majesty from the windows. Then the door opened, I was unsure how to react, and then my feet were hanging over the edge of the door, my belly button was out, my head back, and my arms in a chicken wing position holding the straps of my harness. I didn't do the actual leaning out of the plane, but was instantly aware of how crisp the cold air was from up that high. Breathing through my teeth took some effort. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold my breath the whole time, so I forced the cold air through my lungs. The falling was the most amazing and indescribable feeling. It really doesn't feel like gravity plays much of a role. I've always loved flying in planes and looking down at the little squares of land that look so different at a closer perspective, and here I got to do that only without the confinement of the airplane walls around me. I got to see how blue the sky was around me at the same time I was seeing the landscape below. Also, the sound of the air falling around me completely overpowered my vestibulocochlear nerves. The chute came out--also more fun than your average roller coaster, but hard to peg a description on--and suddenly I could talk and hear normally again. I looked around and saw a large herd of horses by a ravine that looked soooo tiny! I'm pretty sure I screamed with delight, but fortunately my tandem master couldn't actually make sense of them. He then asked me if I wanted to do some spins and turns. I acceded. He gave me hold of the parachute straps and told me to pull my left down as far as it would go, then to pull down my right arm hard and hold it. Afterwards he asked if I was still feeling okay and did I want to do some more. At this point I was having loads of fun and quickly agreed. After a few more tricks it was time to land. I put my legs as high up in the air as I could (which wasn't far because I have no flexibility whatsoever), and his legs hit the ground first and we ended up doing a sitting landing. I was soooooo ready upon landing to go back up.

Sheidi landed soon after, and it turns out that her tandem master went a little wild with the tricks, which was her fault for asking him to. I have an iron stomach, and therefore was instantly a little more jealous, but Sheidi apparently does not have an iron stomach and was white as a sheet. It turns out the only thing that kept her from hurling was thinking about how hot South Africa was, and how embarrassed she'd be to spew on him. She was then sick to the point of wanting to die for the next 3 hours. We went to see Blades of Glory, mainly because she drove and wouldn't have been able to right after that, and I have no night vision, so there you go. Sheidi's brother and sister-in-law surprised her by coming to see the whole thing, and it was he that paid for our movie tickets. And the popcorn that I largely devoured. It was funny, cheesy, and down right wrong at points, but I enjoyed the movie.

And that was sky diving. I absolutely fell in love with it, and am ready to go with anyone anytime soon. That means you Pinkie. And I only have to go tandem once more in the next 30 days to be able to go solo the next time. This could totally become a regular, and very expensive, hobby. Now I will proceed to the slideshow portion of the evening.

This was the exit. That was the plane. And everything around us was blue and gorgeous. The second is of me and my tandom master falling. The reserve chute is out so we wouldn't continue to fall faster and faster, but we were still falling. The smiley faces were placed there by me in the interest of privacy, in regards to one's alias. If you could see our faces, you would know how fast we were falling, because the skin on our cheeks were being pushed up.

A lovely view of the falling from above, and now you really can see Tooley in all its glory, but sadly not the horses from that far. Finally you have the landing. That white little tent dome is where you actually get suited up.