No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

The day before yesterday I went to look at my new apartment. It's actually in a house, but it's not the whole house, so I don't know if it's considered an apartment or something else. I guess I could call it a pad. Anyway, I'd seen it before briefly, so it wasn't a huge surprise, but in that time I managed to forget just how small my room will be. The whole experience stressed me out quite a bit. For starters, it reminded me of how close school is to beginning again, for me to be moving within walking distance of it. Secondly, it reminded me of how broke I'm going to be paying for rent, and otherwise how differently it will be from what I'm accustomed to. There are benefits with the drawbacks, but it's hard for me to get past the room drawback. It's definitely the smallest in the house, is at least half the size--maybe three times--of my old room, and I don't think I'll be able to move even a quarter of my things in. In fact, I'm wondering if I'll be able to fit my bed, computer desk, and a bookshelf in the same room, literally. This kind of gave me a bit of anxiety. I got home--after getting lost trying to get to the freeway--and spent the rest of the night cleaning and somewhat packing my room up before I gave up and just went to work. I guess this all could be a decidedly good thing, in a way. I have a lot of junk. This gives me a reason to finally get rid of a lot of it, but even then I'll have to leave a lot of it at my parent's house, and my dad likes to get rid of stuff when he thinks others won't notice. Even without all the unnecessary stuff, I hope my parents will be willing to keep around the stuff I actually do need eventually. I stopped panicking once I started packing, but it's going to take some creative organizing to move into my new room without getting too claustrophobic. It wouldn't be a big deal if I didn't spend so much time on my off weeks in my room studying. Of course, I'm within walking distance of the library which has always been my favorite study area (at least until the crane came through the window at me), so that could be nice. Ultimately, after I panicked I prayed, and I do feel pretty good about the decision. I'm excited to live so close to school and it should be a good learning experience, getting out of my comfort zone by being in a place where I don't know many people, but still close enough to still crash in on those I do know if I can't stand where I'm at. And the roommate that I do know I love to death, so everything will be fine. My other roommate is incredibly nice as well, though I've only met her once and it takes me a while to feel comfortable around new people. They both have boyfriends, so I doubt I'll be seeing that much of either of them anyway. We'll see how it all turns out.

So moving has forced me to start doing a few things I've meant to do for a long time now, but haven't made myself do till now, due to laziness. I've printed off a lot of my digital pictures to fill my several blank frames acquired over the year. I've also started work on my pinata. Nothing appeals to me more than being able to whack the UniCAP 1000 over and over again with a baseball bat on my birthday. I've never made a pinata before, or anything with paper mache. This is a little strange since I was always the artistic child in my family, but at least I'm learning something new. I currently have a newspaper wrapped balloon hanging from the spinner on my fishing pole, for lack of a better place to put it while drying. I still have a list of things to do I'd like to accomplish before moving, but we'll see how far I get. I also have a booklist for the summer that I'm not making quite the progress on that I'd hoped for. Now if I can just get through this week of work.