Nothing new, other than the fact that I'm writing and haven't in a while.

Today I accomplished absolutely nothing. I studied a little in the morning, but quickly became discouraged and instead found myself watching a copy of Harry Potter I picked up at work on my ipod/comp. Throughout the day I accomplished some writing in my journal, some other internet surfing, and watched a marathon of Bones on the tele. I feel very boring and pathetic at the moment, but am okay with it really. After the week I had at work, I really just wanted to loaf. Mission accomplished. Mainly it was just slow, and I was discouraged.

I had found this house last week that I absolutely loved. By Liberty Park, brick, amazing porch, wooden floors, fireplace, built in nice wooden china cabinet, beautiful natural varnished wood around the windows, 3 bedrooms (one of which was small/office sized and had french doors), open kitchen, brick laid back porch, brick garage with keypad and vines growing on the side, decent sized yard with lots of sun, and a basement with it's own entrance in the back which was unfinished and small, but a perfect size and openness for a potter's studio. Decently priced as a bank owned approved price. I loved it. I put a full listing price bid in for it. There were 2 or 3 other offers. I was told they had accepted someone else's offer. I was crushed for days. I haven't really seen much else in the days that have followed. I had been considering a foreclosure next to Westminster, but after seeing that house I couldn't look past its flaws (namely the backyard size and openness to the yard next door and apartment building next door, low power lines, the apartment buildings around, and the shared driveway with the place next to it). Also, it was more expensive on account of being so far east (which I liked), but was so far south. I like Sugarhouse Park, but I like Liberty Park better. Even though it has more sketchy characters. Still, they're more fun to take pictures of. And less expensive. The area, not the people. And easier to sell when you're ready to upgrade. I don't see myself moving anytime soon, but you never know. The Westminster house hadn't had any other offers/interest. Which made it easy to put in an offer and get a counter, but you always wonder why it's not selling. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't quite what I was looking for, and there was a slight feeling of unease. For my parents too. I think it would have been fine probably, but I would have had doubts, wondered if I'd done the right thing, and had something better come along later, I might have regretted it. And there were things to be improved upon; and even though the price was good for where it was at, it was still at the upper end of my budget. Buying a house that's mostly what you want already I think is the way to go.

So the housing front has been hard. Work has been slow, and thus boring. I have my certification exam coming up, in 2 weeks to be precise, and it will be hard and no amount of studying will help me (so I've heard) so I'd better do a good job at guessing. Boys are always frustrating to me, especially one with the way he pops in and out of my life. I really just wanted something good to happen to take my mind off the anxiety and stress. I kind of reached a point of giving up. Then my realtor called me. He said the first offer for my house had fallen through, and they wondered if I was still interested. They resubmitted my offer to the bank today. We asked if we needed to change it at all, and all the agent said was to increase the earnest money check. I should hear back from them tomorrow. Probably with a counter offer? I just don't know. It seems everybody says something different, and it never all adds up together. It seems everyone is out for themselves in this world of ours. I'm really tired of looking for a house. If I don't get this one, I don't know if I'm capable of finding one. I can't stand to keep getting excited for houses, and then subsequently find myself emotionally crushed when some imperfection about the house arises, or the price. I need to get out of my parents' house though. I need to sleep in a bed again. Without everyone waking up so early and then waking me up so early when already I get off work so late and then have to travel half an hour. I'll also be incredibly disappointed for the second time over this house if I don't get it. I hate waiting and not knowing. Patience will never be one of my strengths. I feel bipolar or something.

I guess I could have written about Goblin Valley, Lake Powell, or backpacking it up to Lake Blanche, but who would I be if I were not focussing on all of the bothersome things in my life? Next time.