"Shut it butterscotch"

So, Christmas happened. I bullied my entire lab into making snowflakes and signing them before my break, then hung them on the Immunocap. It's quite an impressive display. On Christmas Adam's Eve I locked myself out of my house and broke in through the milk box. I sat there for 10 minutes just looking at it, wondering if I'd fit through it, then decided I'd better take the risk--because I was without a phone, without keys, and in my pj's. I went shopping with my sisters that same day, if I remember right, which might not be so. I finished finding presents for all my nieces and nephews. My little sis and I tried to save a duck on our way home. It was just chillin' out (very aptly since it was sitting on the frosty ground next to a lot of snow) in the back of Target. It would have none of it. It seriously just sat there as we drove by, stopped, snapped it's picture, and took off, but when my sister went towards it the duck made off into the snow. Oh well, but I did feel badly with it being so cold. I attempted to put together my tree of cans, but only succeeded in piling them about the basement, to my father's chagrin.

There was a party at FKs somewhere in there, and I saw old roommates, which was great. Christmas Adam I went to the McSomethingkin's family party, with all the McSomethingkins on my dad's side. I got some bungy cords to put in my trunk from the white elephant exchange we do every year. Then the kids did the nativity. My 1 and and half year old niece GF decided half way through that she didn't want to be a sheep. So every time we sang a hymn she came out and danced to along to it instead. I guess she was the "Christmas Queen" of our pageant, so I think I might refer to her as Lucy from now on. My sister and I started working on our puzzle Christmas Eve, which my twin niece's somewhat destroyed the day before last. Christmas Eve night I went to my second oldest sister's house for dinner, along with my parents, and my little sis and her husband. We put together a ginger bread house after dinner, and we discovered that I'm the most artistic person in my family. That night I slept on the top bunk of my nephew's bunk beds. He serenaded me with the "ABC song" in rounds that started out boomingly loud, then got softer till he was humming, then he fell asleep. Christmas day we had our immediate family party, which was chaos with our numbers. My nephew JC is so cute. I only barely finished my mother's picture, which was actually a frame with 30+ pictures in it, that I gave her for Christmas. Now I'm back at work and I'm very tired lately; and I finally got my cold, which probably explains the tiredness.

I saw Night at the Museum Wednesday night with the gang. I wasn't too impressed, but I'm not really a big fan of Ben Stiller other than Zoolander, so what can you do? There were scattered parts that were funny though, such as the title of this post. Before that I got to see my 9 month old nephew, because my brother and his wife are in town from Virginia. He's such a cute little boy, and he no longer looks like a little old man. Last night I got ample sleep, but I'm still exhausted. It feels like pneumonia, but without the cough. I've been going to work later and later each day it seems, and so I've been here later. However, I've been here at night for our group M&M breaks, so that's been nice. I work with all boys lately, and they have some pretty fun idiosyncrasies.

Belated Instances

This is old; oh well:
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Tuesday I went bowling for the first time in at least 2 years, I think. It was me, and 4 boys I work with. I managed to break a hundred, and broke my streak of going terribly downhill from 1st to 2nd game. I still bowled from way too far away, but in that second round I beat Logie by 2 points, which was nice as he had boasted winning me in both games just minutes before. I have yet to arm wrestle him, but he has a boasting problem. I also slaughtered him at Tekken 5 with my little log man. He had stupid victory dances, but cool moves. He is a very good bowler though; Logie, not the little log man. We decided to start a league, which probably won't happen, but we have a cool name; the Lab Rats. Logie did this fake trip and belly dive, which outrageously produced a strike.

Earlier that day Worm and I watched an Avatar marathon at his house, and he made chicken squares, and we sipped fancy beverages. He's my new gay best friend that's not gay.

Wednesday I had scones at Winder Dairy with my sister and her husband, then we watched Christmas movies. I made her sit on Santa's lap with me and get a picture. He wondered whether we were serious, then after a little bit of a look of senile incredulity, he made us both sit on his lap. He was very very old, and with his real beard is the best Santa I've every seen. Then he gave us candy canes. There was also a story involving rootbeer milk, but I refuse to tell it. However, if you see my little sister, she'll be sure to tell it to you.

Extremely Successful, Financially Crippling.

School ended Monday, and I celebrated by buying my body weight in shoes and clothes yesterday. Frogkisser helped. Actually, she was the catalyst. We worked out this arrangement a while ago, which I quite like. Basically she picks out all my clothes, I try them on, and--with her feedback and my minimal opinions on the matter--I buy them. It works quite well actually. Shopping with me is usually highly unpleasant, but I like not having to do the work and so am less stressed, and she likes picking stuff out. Pinkie came with us, and she didn't seem to get all that annoyed with me, so it mustn't have been all that unpleasant. I bought 3 pairs of shoes, two watches, 1 skirt, 1 dress (?), and many jackets/tops. I feel pleased with the experience--all but the over 300 bucks part. So I guess that's where my work bonus will go.

Today is Wednesday. I planned on selling my blood, but I might be getting a sore throat. I'm not sure. It might just be a lack of sleep. I also have a "getting to know you" meeting with my bishop tonight. I might have to take a nap before it. And Thursday will be an excellent day. I get to have tea with my favorite person (my little sis), I get to see an old friend (who's getting married) and tell her I like sushi after all, and I'll be taping a most excellent hour long "The Office" Christmas episode. I still have to finish some presents tonight too. Maybe I'll illustrate my book while I'm donating plasma, if I do.

Saturday and Sunday at work I plan on making Christmas decorations on my down-time. Yesterday I chatted with people quite a bit, and did a few random tasks for others when I was super board. I have a new best work buddy (I actually have quite a few of them), Worm, and that's exciting. He reminds me so much of Clarkie that it's scary. He was in my O Chem class, and will be in my Human Genetics class, and we studied a lot for O Chem. And we watched cartoons, The Avatar to be specific, when both of us were too sick of studying to continue. He's also turning me a wood mushroom, and he wrote a fantasy novel over the past year which I have a copy of to critique. I really do like the people I work with right now. I'm going to make Logie wear a matching hoodie with me tomorrow. That will be delightful.

"Stop stop stop"

School just ended. I'm still in a bit of a state of shock. Genetics ended last week, and I don't think I've ever been as happy. Oh, I guess that's what happened on Wednesday of last week that I couldn't remember, which means I spent Tuesday studying. The test didn't fill me with impending doom, but it's a wild card as to how I did, so we'll see. The important thing is that I stopped caring, so I'll be good no matter what happens. I can't say the same for my Organic Chemistry final I just took. I think I started studying early enough, but didn't focus on the really important things until too late. It's also a wild card as to how I did, but I care very much in this case. Dropping out of this class prematurely the last time I took it, making this the second time I've taken it, is mainly why I care as much as I do. It was a medical reason, but I don't think they ever acknowledged that on my transcript, so... But what's done is done. I don't think I aced the final by any means, but hopefully I didn't botch it badly enough to fail it.

Now I'm sitting in the Marriot Library, typing this, and wondering what to do with my life for the next week. I've been "go go go" all semester, and I'm not sure how to make the transition to Christmas break mode, especially with so much to do still--though highly more pleasant of course. Tomorrow I start my work week, and I'm buying shoes with FK. It should be memorable, since my shopping expeditions are always memorable. She was trying to beg Duckling to come with us yesterday at the fireside, and I felt slightly insulted at the implications. But with her doing all of my actual shopping for me, and me only involved in the trying of things on and purchasing, it shouldn't be as stressful as I tend to make these things. Wednesday Duckling and I are going to sell our blood. Thursday we're both going with my little sis and other friend to tea. Then I have a wedding reception. I feel something's happening Friday, but I don't know what. I have to start shopping for family presents sometime soon, and I have to clean out my room at my parent's house since they're remodeling theirs. And I need to start on my can tree, finish my pinata, start practicing my anatomy skills for next semester, and plan Fun Week. I feel a little overwhelmed still, and I have less money than I think I need to accomplish all I want. Well, we'll see how it all goes.

Old Stuff

This is an old post I wrote and then didn't post. Then I discovered I hadn't posted it way after the fact. If there are spelling and grammar problems...Tough luck Aaron. I'm not willing to go through it and make sense of what I wrote then.
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Monday we had a pizza party at work. Gus decided we needed a Friday tradition (our Friday that is), I decided there should be food, he decided pizza is a Friday food, and so our biweekly tradition was born. I got the nastiest nose bleed during our party. Our Benefits Fair was also this day, as was my last Genetics class; now there's just the test left to go. O chem ends Monday, so I need to get in gear immediately. I'm dropping my last test, and it's kind of a joke how badly I did. I really did laugh; I didn't know it was possible to do so badly on a single test. My sister sent me one of her random powerpoint presentations while I was still at work, but I didn't have enough time to watch more than half of it, then got busy and didn't finish the rest of it before leaving for the week, which kind of bummed. What I saw of it was as I remember the rest of her random projects to be--hilarious. I need to convince her to start posting them on her blog or something. I don't know if that's possible, but there's got to be a way to post it to the internet, and then link to it at least.

I don't really remember Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. Friday was Winder Dairy followed by a Christmas movie. There was a lot of driving, and I finally convinced Sheidi that I am a horrible driver after all. Before heading to WD I stopped at my parents' house and my dad put on my new license plates, and some books I ordered online had come in the mail--Amazon is way too accessible. I wasn't so happy with the movie choice, since the original Grinch is such a classic and in my opinion the new one is a defamation; there are just too many Christmas movies I'm looking forward to watching this season, and I had hoped to cross one of them off my list. Such as A Charlie Brown Christmas, It's a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, Home Alone (which I bought just the other day on DVD), A Bump in the Night's Christmas special, The Smurf's Christmas special (if ever I can find it), Frosty the Snowman, Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer...The list is long, and I plan on watching all of them. We did watch a Claymation Christmas, or parts of it, but very few people enjoy it as much as I, which throws a damper on it completely. If there's one thing I hate, it's when a damper is thrown. They're heavy, and all-encompassing. Scones were excellent, even though the dog ate my remaining scones. Now there just needs to be sledding and a snowball fight.

I had a date on Saturday, with this kid my sister wants me to marry so she can combine family functions with his sister, who is her good friend. I also went to the Festival of Trees earlier with most of family, which made me happy. My niece was dancing, and the vast majority of my nieces and nephews were there. We didn't really get to look at many trees, but as that's one of the places I went on my date, it didn't really matter much. After the first visit I took a nap at my parents' house. I got to sleep on my old, queen sized bed. Man do I miss that thing. Then I got ready and went on my date with Guy, as I will henceforth refer to him. At the F of T's I got some good ideas for my tree we're entering next year. In addition to the ornaments I already have, I'm going to cut apart cans and construct 3D ornaments, as seen on some of the trees. And make a train out of Soda can boxes. I love Christmas trees. After the trees we went to Iggy's Sports Grill, during a jazz game no less, so there were random bursts of cheering during our conversations, which startled us both. Funny that neither of us were huge on watching sporting events, but we were at a sports bar. We had an overly attentive waiter, which was made for interesting breaks in conversation. Guy smelled really good, and was pretty cute. But although we had a lot in common, there wasn't much in the way of chemistry. Perhaps too much in common. Anyway, after I bought meatballs for my potluck the next day, and my sister was nice enough to lend me her crock pot. That turned out better than I thought it would--I'm not too fond of Swedish meatballs, even with mushrooms.

I almost envy myself right now, things are so good.

So I updated my other blog, and if anyone wants to know how my thanksgiving weekend went, here it is:

http://notthefirstone.blogspot.com

Lengthy, but whatever.

Yesterday I started off my day happier than I had reason to be. I think it was the lack of sleep, the addition of caffeine--which seems to help my already existing meds, and knowing how awesome my weekend will be. Also it had snowed, and was snowing, which might have been the main component of my happiness actually. But I had a test that day, one I wasn't ready for, and thus the one in O Chem that I will drop. I could, however, tell it wouldn't have been hard if I'd studied. Seriously, my O Chem professor's tests are incredibly fair, and thus a stark contrast to my other professor's. But even going into it knowing I wouldn't do well, it's amazing how much of a buzz kill not doing well on a test can be. I usually do well, so it's a newer experience for me. I attempted to study with #2 and friend, who aborted the process early on, and my friend Worm from work. Turns out he's been writing a fantasy novel, and I'm going to read and critique it for him. Sheidi told me that nobody likes a critic the other day (because I keep correcting her spelling and grammar in text messages), but Worm is going to tell her otherwise.

Last night, right after my test, I went to Mikado's for my friend Libo's 21st birthday, where we got sushi. And with an excellent 50% discount, since one of the guys we went with works there. It was a very nice restaurant with a definite Japanese feel to it (which kind of works well with it being a Japanese restaurant); the table was low to the ground, was shut off from the rest of the restaurant by being enclosed with bamboo screens and doors, and we sat on pads (but there was a pit underneath the table we could sit and put our feet in, so we didn't have to kneel). There were 8 of us total; 4 girls and 4 guys. Only me and my roommates are LDS, so a great amount of time went into convincing Libo to drink more, which he didn't really want to do, and he spent a great amount of time trying to convince them not to convince him. Ultimately it ended with a lot of sushi paid for in the snow, which is a shame. But I did get to eat a lot of sushi for dirt cheap, and mine stayed in my stomach. I got the spider roll (which is deep fried soft shelled crab in a roll of rice with avocado, etc.) and Philadelphia roll (which was raw salmon, cream cheese, and avocado in a roll of rice covered with sesame seeds). I liked the spider roll more, but I also tried the playboy roll, some fish sushi that wasn't in a roll (a big step for me), the J roll (which was amazing, and I think had some sort of honey-mustard sauce? on it), and terriaki squid. It was all delightful.

Today I have to go to my parent's house to get the stickers for my license plates. I don't have school today, except for Institute, so it will contain studying and the watching of Smutty ER. Tomorrow marks the first Winder Dairy hit-up of the season. I'm really excited for that actually. Saturday I get to go to the Festival of Trees twice. My niece is dancing there at two-ish. It's beginning to feel like Christmas, and I'm psyched.

Genetics pansed me to steal my lunch money

First of all, my happy post on Thanksgiving will be posted to my other blog. You'll be missing out if you miss that one. So without further ado...

I've decided to take Human Genetics. My options at this point are to retake regular Genetics, which I refuse to do (because that class has embittered me enough, my professor is just evil enough that retaking it would not ensure a better outcome, and I haven't really learned much from him up to this point (so I really have very little hope of learning anything with a second go of it). The fact of the matter is that I had the option to begin with of either taking Genetics or Human Genetics to fulfill this pre-requisite for my major, and I chose incorrectly. But regardless of how my grades turn out for this class, I can take Human Genetics, have a new professor that actually has a chance of having ethics, teaching skills, and a desire to teach instead of crushing the wills of people who could potentially become excellent doctors because "I couldn't make it as one and copped out by going into research." I would actually go into research by the way, if I went to med school--because that's where my interest lies--but some researchers are bitter wanna-be's who see their research as a holier-than-thou opportunity towards practitioners, and I think that's my professor. Only I don't think he is. He really loves research, but he would have made a terrible practitioner, and he definitely has a high opinion of himself. Very much the name dropper, and he refers to all these people in our text, that most of us have ever heard of before, on a first name basis with random stories that aren't at all impressive.

So I'm actually excited about Human Genetics. I have the little I've unintentionally gleaned from regular Genetics, and now I get to add to it with a better knowledge of a more intimate focus of Genetics. And when I ace that class, which I plan on doing, it will prove I'm not incompetent when it comes to Genetics. Now I just have to do well in O Chem. My third test is tomorrow. I have a lot of preparation left to go, but I don't feel panicked. The snow definitely helped. I'm getting giddy at the implications of it, and all the Christmasy things I plan on doing during my winter break. I can't help but think of last year at this time, and I've got to say, the WV house held some great memories, especially of winter. Those memories will ever live on as the standard of what Christmastime should be. Thanksgiving socks and gloves, Winder Dairy tri-weekly, the 3 hour snowball fight, Widdy McWiddershins, McBlobbykins, A Claymation Christmas, "Oh Tuesday Night," "Because I'm a Moron," "Are we sick?!," a tent in the living room, a Mountain Dew tree in the family room... Good times.

Anxiously Awaiting (Or Not: I Haven't Quite Decided)

I'm about to go take my second to last Genetics test. I feel I've studied as much as I could, but he really didn't prepare us for this test at all. I've been feeling pretty good lately though. Monday was one of the best days at work of all times. For some reason I was giddy happy, even though I had more to not look forward to on my off week than to look forward to. But I am excited for Thanksgiving. However, I feel if I think too much about it I'll forget the important things I need to remember, like finishing my lab write ups and all of the stuff I studied for my test. I just hope I can stay calm while taking it. Usually I read the problems and panic, because he makes it hard to understand just what he's asking. Between yesterday and today I've consumed more chocolate than I thought was possible. And I don't feel sick at all. Even though I had 3 pieces of Papa John's pizza and 5 pieces of cheese bread last night. I feel pretty calm at the moment, but I can see it departing at any moment. Man, I hope I don't have to retake this class, because if I do I will not be able to take Advanced Anatomy next semester.

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Okay, I've waited long enough.

I'm at work right now, and I was late here this morning. I hope my new supervisor doesn't get anal about that, because ever since my old supervisor asked me to come in later on certain days (in my yearly appraisal), I've done a crappy job of not only not coming in when he asked, but later than when he asked. I hate having to stay later than I'd planned.

On the bright side, I don't hate my job as much any more. The machines are not being as awful as they could, and I must say, Scooter isn't doing as bad of a job as I thought he would. He's still more of a figure than an actual contributed to the process, but he's getting better. Multi-Manager still pulls the strings mainly, but I can live with that. And the fact of the matter is, I've never worked with so many people that I've enjoyed before now. I've always liked my co-workers, but ever since we moved up front I've been constantly surrounded by people who brighten my week. Logie (once known as Leon) is divorced from the Allergen bench, except for verification sometimes, but is still pretty close by, so that's good. Our week is far superior to the other week, I must say.

Genetics is still an evil class; my professor's still Satan. If that man dies of anything other than assassination, I'll lick a spark plug. I already know of at least 3 people who've talked about either doing it themselves or hiring a hit man. For those who are naturally gifted, well, he's not even needed for them to do well in Genetics. For those of us who require actual teaching to learn... Man, I am so ready for the semester to end. I refuse to take it from him again, if it comes to that, so he's ruining my whole plan of time. O Chem is a delightful subject, and one which I don't devote enough time to. I need to start studying immediately. But right now I'm ecstatically excited for Thanksgiving and eventually Christmas. This is my favorite time of year. I'm so ready for Winder Dairy scones, snow, decorations, the assemblage of my Mountain Dew tree, Christmas specials, massive amounts of food, Fun Week 2007... I unfortunately have a test I need to do well on the day before Thanksgiving. We shall see, but at least there is an opportunity the very next day for me to eat my feelings if I don't do well.

New Post

I felt it was time for a new post.

Today marks the last day of my O Chem lab. I have yet to write my post-lab, and I'm not sure when I'll have the time because I'm at work and I can't do it here, and I only get out in time to go to class. And I have a group meeting at work today, so I can't cut out early. Luckily things don't seem to be too crazy at work right now, so good stuff.

So I seriously have nothing to write about. Usually I can write about nothing and stretch it out, but I really don't think I have anything to say right now. I have a test a week from today, another right after Thanksgiving, then another the next week and another the next week. I'm ready for the semester to end. Then I can start thinking again. Ironic that I can't think while school is going.

Sprite, Doritos, and Skittles.

I'm not feeling so well right now. I'm not sure if it's because I went back on my meds this morning, or if I'm getting the flu my roommate had. I wasn't really around her when she got it or had it, because we're both very out and about, but everyone else around has been getting it, so I guess it's possible. I've actually never called in sick to work, at least in the last year, unless you count my crisis where I too 2 weeks off...frankly I'd rather not have to. And with my Genetics test tomorrow and the one after that in less than 2 weeks (making it so I have to study for it this Saturday and Sunday mainly, as I work all the rest of the days leading up to it), I really don't have time to be sick.

Throwing up is the worst of being sick. I actually quite like having a cold, because the lightness in your head, amplified by cold medicine...that's a great feeling. And it doesn't really stop you from doing all that much. But if you're throwing up you can't do anything. And I have a pretty extensively built up fear of throwing up. I can't do it, or won't if I can help it, even if I know it will make me feel better. Over the years my sisters and I (the ones just older and younger) have found that we can eat doritos, skittles, and sprite when we have the flu, and none of us will throw up. And so my mom would go buy us these things whenever we got sick--and we always invariably got each other sick, so we were all sick at the same time. None of these food items sound very appealing right now unfortunately.

Tuesday I had lunch with 2 of my sisters at the place they both work. My little sister bought my lunch, I bought her the Collin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice for her birthday, and some old fashioned paper flat taffy I found at the store--which my mother used to give us when we were little, so it reminded me of her. My other sister bought me a rice crispee treat with chocolate on the top from School Lunches. I should have bought her something too, considering her birthday was the day prior and 3 days after my little one's. I don't know what to get her yet. I also bought a radio car adapter/charger for my ipod, which I must say I really deserved and so far really enjoy. I also saw 2 nephews and a niece, and picked up holds from the library. My Tuesday flew by and out the window, without much studying done.

Wednesday I actually studied quite a bit, but I wish I could have done more. My lab worried me until it was over, but unless you count next week's make-up lab, this was the last one. I'm excited, but I'll miss the people. I ended up leaving my Genetics book in the lab and had to double back to get it. I was worried it would be closed, but luckily I found someone who knew where they put it. One of the many Christmas Miracles that I've encountered lately. Like having one experiment in that lab turn out right for once. We made beautiful crystals that actually looked like crystals instead of we toilet paper. Very exciting, and very short. We were out of there by 7 pm, so an hour and a half. So when I got home I had time to study Genetics some with #1. We decided to have a Lord of the Rings marathon once finals are over, which reminds me, when did you guys want to do that FK? And she's going to take snowboarding lessons with me this winter, so I can fall on my face with someone I know present who's at the same non-existent skill level as I am. I've gone with my sister's, but I'm the damper since they're really good and I don't know what I'm doing. Also, I might take Advanced Anatomy with her next semester. She's crazy for taking on that with her already heavy workload, but apparently she TA-ed for the regular anatomy class and knows all of the advanced TA's, so we'd have help. And I would get access to the labs again. I seriously loved that class, so I might have to do it. The problem is that it's at 2 pm, so who knows if it'd work out with work going till 3:30, and even if I quit I'd probably be moving to graves, which usually starts at 2 pm. Hmmnnn...quite the predicament. Studying last night went till 1 am. I slept till 7 though, so I'm well rested. I need to go study now.

I think I'm writing more because there should be a dark blue post somewhere in here than for my actually having a reason to. But prepare for a rant.

I really don't have a reason though.

Just yesterday I was thinking to myself, "wow, I don't think I hate my job after all." It was a nice feeling, and came because this week was not nearly as bad as the last I worked. I felt things were finally starting to slip into place. Then Micro Manager came in unexpectedly and wanted to know if I had time to do my yearly appraisal that day. I figured then was as good as any other time, though not necessarily opportune because I really needed to be out by 3:30 to go have birthday tea with my sister. It was noon, and thankfully there was no PBS movie that week, which was actually quite sad, but I would have been even sadder to have missed it. Basically my appraisal lasted 2 and a half hours. I came out of there feeling like I'd been wrung through a wringer. It's amazing how someone can take an approach so complimentary, and yet ultimately you end up feeling like crap. When Micro Manager first took over it was at a very stressful time for me, when I was fed up with the Allergen bench after working there for 2 years--and after I'd dealt with more difficult problems than I could possibly ever hold in my head. On top of that, it was when Traves was still new, and I was frustrated at having to do my job as well as a lot of his. Then there was the added difficulty of school. I opted to take on a "Don't Care" approach to keep my sanity, otherwise I got too stressed out. I formed some less than exemplary habits, but I can honestly say I was still working harder than quite a lot of other people there. I got my tasks done, but I had no desire to fill every spare minute I had seeking out "extra-credit" projects.

Flash forward to now. I've been trying harder lately than any other person possibly could to become the best I can be at my job. With all the changes I've really had no choice. But I've actually enjoyed it, because I would much rather be busy and challenged than either having nothing or busy work to do. Also I'd realized that I needed to make these changes in my life, because I have become very passive in many facets of my life, and I really should take a more active role in accomplishing the things I set out to do. So I'd talked to Micro Manager, and I let him know I was ashamed of not being a more pro-active worker in the past, and let him know I would be trying harder from then on. I told him all of the things I would be working on bettering myself at, and I don't' feel that I've reverted back in any way to past bad habits. Also, I felt there was an understanding between us, and that he'd try to help me find time to leave work when I needed to study--he did specifically say that. I don't feel he's keeping his end of the bargain. Right now I feel I'm constantly being scrutinized and questioned when I raise valid concerns, I'm only listened to when what I say fits into his already existing views of things (no matter how much I talk to him), and ultimately he's trying to fix multiple things all at once by implementing mass plans simultaneously that are too confusing to possibly follow at the same time. I can't change my entire routine and still function efficiently. He knows I'm stressed out, and yet he keeps giving us things to change that he knows will make my life more stressful now, though he's looking at making it better for the future. I won't be there in the future at this point if things keep on like I know they're going to. Anyway, things have started falling through cracks on occasion, partially because there's just too much to do and too many samples to process. This because of all of the things he's implementing, but I'm the one held accountable for them. I know no one could be doing a better job than I am, but every little mistake I make is noted and and is currently counting against me. The way I see it, no one is perfect, and you can look at anyone for long enough and you'll eventually find something to nail them for, even if they're not doing it on purpose. And currently I don't feel like a valued employee at all. I know I'm good at my job. I'm better than anyone he could possibly find to do it if I left--I'm not being boastful, just honest. But I'm having a hard time with it, I'm having a hard time with school because I'm constantly worrying about work when I should be worrying about classes that warrant worrying entirely on their own bases, and I'm just not happy where I am.

Unfortunately I feel stuck. My evaluation said some very nice things, but also held minute accounts of all that need to work on. Even when there was something I was being rated on that held nothing but praise, the ratings just didn't match up. Oh how I hate being patronized. And then the things I did excel at I somehow felt like I shouldn't be doing as well at. It was all like a huge slap in the face. I've always felt my contributions outweighed my faults, but that's sure not how his picture was painted. I don't think he realizes how bad it all looked, but I couldn't really question him on any of it, both because I couldn't quite articulate how I was feeling throughout this whole process, and because his memory is better than mine. I do have my imperfections after all; he might be a jerk for putting all of them in there, and worse because knowing him he doesn't even realize that fact, but when it comes down to it, it's his right to do it. But he made me sound like a flake, and if I switch sections that can't be a good thing; no one wants someone who forgets little things, and they can't know the circumstances under which these little things occurred because he didn't put them in there. After all this he asked me how school was going. I basically let Micro Manager know that with how hard it's been lately, I can't see myself still working in this section come next fall. He then said something about part time jobs there being hard to come by, and I may have inadvertently said that I would go outside of the company if needs be. Then he said something about him having less than a year to shape the Allergens bench up so as to entice me to stay, like he actually wanted to, and "would I consider staying if that happened?" I was flabbergasted. Like he suddenly valued me as an employee or something. All I can say is that if he implements any more plans to "shape" the Allergen bench up, I'll be stressed out enough to fail out of school, and I sure as heck am not going to work there if it ruins my chances of getting into the Med Tech program. I really should have jumped ship months ago, and the more I think about it, the more I'm ready to leave as soon as possible (basically I just need them to pay for this semester, which is why I can't leave right now). I love the company, I love the people, but I love my sanity as well. And I'm building up quite a bit of resentment, which I don't like at all. But it's nice to have gotten a little bit of it out writing some of it down. I just hope I can get past it all, because the amount of times I've wanted to cry the last few days is longer than my arm. Having vented thus, I think I'll now write a happy post on my other blog.

"I can make air solid."

Something is beeping. I don't know what it is, I just hope it's not any of my instruments.

I was thinking about that comment by Clark just yesterday:) Along with a lot of other random things people said when we lived in the WV house, and on the California trip. Anyway, not only can I not make air solid, I can't make an actual legitimate product in my lab. So yesterday I threw abandon to the wind. I can't remember how that phrase is supposed to go, so I'll just pretend that it's right. My roommate was shocked at quite a few points in the evening, my taking a leaf from her book. We rushed through everything, and I was not all that exact in my procedures, or measurements. So basically if an experiment doesn't turn out, you have to think about what could have caused that to happen, then you insert it into your lab write-up. Seriously, this week there was a wealth of things to choose from. We were supposed to get needle-like crystals, and instead got fluffy wet toilet paper. I'm actually surprised it turned out as well as it did. We did get the right product weight, and while we did get a rather low melting point, we did at least get one that happened instantaneously. It was impure, but not that impure. Originally I couldn't get our product down the little plastic tube--It resembles one of the ones they squeeze the blood into from pricking your finger when you're donating blood. I finally took 3 of the little capillary tubes we use for blotting TLC plates (which are essentially the same thing but needle thin and tiny short) and stuck them in there one after another to move it down. Typically Aberrant was not in a good mood this week, because he was grading a bunch of stuff he was behind on and he has a screaming baby at home, so he insisted on minimal questions while he sat there and graded. Pretty sure it was pointed statement. And I was too tired to argue. I had taken my O Chem test, which I largely just guessed at, directly before this point. I was ready to go home. He actually doesn't care if we get it right anyway, so there you go. At this point I would just like to say how much I love the people in my lab, even though I hate the lab. My TA is nice, if not at all useful to me. Mr. Cynical is a punk, but fortunately that works in my favor as he amuses me. We're too much alike, Mr. Cynical and me. Everyone else in there is so nice. There's this kid who works at ACME, on the opposite week, who I think I'd marry if he asked me to. Of course, not really, because I'm pretty sure his wife and children might object. Anyway, the week before last he suction filtrated my product for me, when I had no idea how to, and I was at my breaking point. And then there's Pocket Ego. I love that kid to death. My TA actually coined that phrase yesterday, because my roommate said something like, "C----, I just want to put you in my pocket, and then I could pull you out whenever I want you to make me happy." Typically Aberrant then said something about how he wanted him as a pocket ego, so that he could tell him things like, "it's not so bad; staying up till 2 in the morning to grade papers--think of all the interesting infomercials you could watch at that hour of the morning." This kid is seriously put off by nothing. He gets excited about his experiments when they fail; he'll look at the product and how it turned out instead of how it should have been, and then he'll say, "this is so cool, I wonder what could have made it do that." #2 and I were walking out of the lab with him the other day, and he showed us a picture of his wife (I think he's been married for 2 months), and we asked him what she did. He asked, "for a living?" and we said, "no, with you." He told her that and she laughed. He's a pretty funny kid anyway, but just the fact that he finds every facet of life so interesting and exciting makes it so much more the so. But I can't ask him how to do anything in there, because he gets so excited in telling me how to do something, even if he has no idea how to do it. The fact of the matter is, he finds it more interesting to fail than to succeed, so I disregard what he says the moment I realize who I just asked. The lab was pretty short, no doubt because we did everything wrong, and we were out of there in under 2 hours.

I guess it's time for a new paragraph, if not a new subject. I got home, took a shower, watched an episode of South Park because #2 was watching it on Libo's lap top, and went to bed pretty much immediately after.

Hopefully Better Syntax.

I feel sufficiently rebuked by Aaron:)

So this is a testament to how truly lazy I have become. I'm letting myself get caught up in the whole, "it's okay if I do badly on this test, I can drop 1..." argument. I have a test today. I'm not ready for it. I feel surprisingly okay about this fact. I won't when I'm taking a harder test later in the semester though, and when a good reason comes up for me not being able to prepare adequately for it. This particular test should be an easy test, or would have been if I'd studied for it, and I know for a fact that the next one will be painful. But I can't make myself worry about it now, because I've already procrastinated to the limit (though some of it was unavoidable and thus not my fault). And with that I got 4 hours of sleep last night, which I feel pretty good about. I meant to pull and all nighter, but I feel rested and refreshed, which I can't really regret. Point of the matter: I have a weird twitch in my elbow right now that probably is caused by a lack of sleep. And I have a class at 11 and test at 4 I need to go over mechanisms for, and trends for synthesis reactions, and the practice exam...and if I get the time I really should look at some of the book problems. Man I need to get better study habits. I plan on studying for my Genetics class tonight after my lab. That's another thing; I totally have to go to my o chem lab after taking my o chem test. I didn't do my post lab, so I hope Typically Aberrant (which is how I will refer to my TA from now on) will be okay with that. I think he will; he's way too lax for someone getting a masters in chemistry. Anyway, this is supposed to be a short lab, so thank goodness for that. And with that I have to get back to work.

This is Halloween

I just got my Genetics test back. I'm afraid to look at it. I got physically ill when he was going over the test in class today. The average was 48, so higher than I thought. But a lot of people felt very cheated, and weren't afraid of expressing it in class. So then he gave some speel about how he must have done something right because that's where the average should be, and it was a great test because it tested people, and it's his divine right apparently to weed out anyone who shouldn't go onto medical school by testing us on material he didn't prepare us for... A whole lot of crap. I can now add him to the list of people I've hated in my life, which is only comprised of 3 people, because he's a total tool.

A little bit of anger and resentment should have come across in the above. That said: I'm somewhat worried about this O Chem test Wednesday, because mechanisms and synthesis problems aren't easy, at least not when you procrastinate. Not that I've had a choice with Genetics and work. Speaking of which, I'm really not looking forward to Tuesday. I don't hate my supervisor, or the now Immunology Group Manager, but I can't say I like either of them very much right now. I'm worried to see the state of things this upcoming week. And if it gets any worse I'm switching departments asap, or I'll go work at the lab my roommates work at, culturing mice or something.

So last night my home teachers came over. They were really nice; and we had Libo and Brad over studying with #2, and #1's hip extension over as well, so it was a real party. Church was good that morning, and I went with #2 and her friend Brad, who works with her in the lab. After church I went hiking with Sheidi, which was a nice Sunday activity. Brandon came over later that night and explained a few things to us while #1 and I studied O Chem with Mr. Cynicism. I think he was distracted by all the noise, because with all the people there was a lot of noise.

Saturday I went to the movies with my 13 year old nephew and 11 year old niece, and my little sis and her hubby. We saw the Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D, and let me just say, that movie was meant to be seen in 3D. The visual details put into it are amazing in the first place, but on a big screen coming right out at you with the quirkiness of Tim Burton and the perfection of sounds from Danny Elfman...Just spectacular. And seen with so many of my favorite people... My niece and nephew used to make us watch that movie at least once a week when they were 4 and 6, and neither had seen it in a few years, but we all still remembered all of the dialogue and lyrics. Good stuff. That night I went to my sister's ward's Trunk or Treat, and all of my nieces and nephews save 1 were there and dressed up for Halloween (except for Jessilee, who is too cool for that now). I was glad because I will be working Halloween and the day after super early, and I have a test to study for the day after. Usually I like taking them out Trick or Treating, so this was nice. The twins were witches, so was Girlfriend, Best Friend was a Ninja Turtle, and Churtis Ja'mames was a power ranger. Doll Face was a Hobo. Soooo cute. and I stole some of their candy, so I felt pretty good about the evening.

The last few days...er, day.

Genetics has now eaten my breakfast, lunch, and is eying my dinner. Yesterday was test #4 of 7. I felt pretty prepared. My roommate and Libo were as prepared as they come. The second I opened that test I wondered why I had studyed at all. It did not resemble any of the problems we were given, or the practice exam in any respect. It was one of those moments where you're too surprised to panic. When it was over I asked #2 and Libo what they thought. Words were beyond all of us. Untell we started walking to Libo's car, and then colorful words were spoken with an impressive frequency; not by me of course. I can't even believe our professor. Teaching was not his calling. He's actually just filling in for the guy on sabaticle right now, but for someone who doesn't believe in giving tests, he sure has high standards for those taking them. I think the fact that he doesn't like them did come across in his utter inability to write one though. It was hard to understand what he was even asking. Anyway, we were all in surprisingly good moods considering the massacre that had just taken place (if the class average is above 40% I'm dropping out of school right now), and actually I think it was because we all found it so ridiculous we couldn't help but laugh about it--through tears of course (there weren't really any tears, but there might be if someone got a 90 on this test). Not to mention disbelief, frustration, and of course a little bit of bitterness and anger. So we threw a pity party for ourselves and went out for sushi at Benihana. I got a spider roll, the spicy salmon rolls, a spicy tuna wrap, and it was all very good. But I was still somewhat upset after our trip. So we all sat around on the couch at our house afterwards, each with our pints of ice cream, and watched an episode of South Park. Very fitting for the mood we were in. It actually amazes me that my roommate can have so much on her plate right now and not be a nervous wreck. Or at least that she can be a nervous wreck that still finds plenty of laughing time. I enjoy hanging out with the two of them. And they're smart, so I really should study with them more. I did the night before the test, but it availed us nothing.

After the drama of the morning I went over to the HEB to study O Chem with my roommate and some people from our lab. Basically our lab TA, Brian, decided to be nice enough to come help us understand things we should already understand, but haven't had the time to understand with our busy lives, before our test Wednesday. A great deal of my Saturday will be devoted to family, but the rest will go to studying mechanisms and synthesis reactions. We were there for 2 hours, and actually I quite enjoyed it. Other than that I hadn't looked at any of the material beforehand, so I had no idea what was going on a great deal of the time. But I knew more than most, so yay for me.

Then I was stuck in traffic for an hour getting to my parents house. I meant to go there for multiple reasons, but only had time to print off some stuff before going to the game store for this Halloween thing they were throwing. We really didn't play any Halloween games, which was dissapointing, but fortunately I enjoy my friends enough that it didn't matter too much. Duckling, FK, some guy FK knows but none of us did, Pinkie, and Joshuar were all there playing games for multiple hours. I intended to start calling Joshuar Corn Flakes from now on, but he's actually been very reliable lately. Weird. But he stole my yellow pawns, and for that I stole his glasses and subsequently misplaced them. There was food there as well, and we all had way too many cream sodas. That about sums it up.

Blah

So I am truly gifted when it comes to failing my o chem lab quizzes. They ask questions I never thought to think of, and on points that were never mentioned in lecture or lab. Why do they do that? Do they really expect us to scour an experiment and find out every bit of information we can about it when it's only worth a credit and that would take hours? I already spend too long on that stupid lab. Thankfully it's over for the week, just in time for me to worry about my Genetics test tomorrow, and my o chem test next week. I'm ignoring the second till after tomorrow.

My Genetics test should be pretty horrible. He gives us all this information in lecture, and in the book, then asks questions that neither tells you how to do. I have no idea how to do most of it, and he promised that the exam won't reflect the problems given in class and on the practice exam, but will encorporate similar ideas. And this from the man who doesn't really believe in testing. Man I hate that class, even though I like the subject.

Already the day is passing too quickly. I should be home studying, but I have to give my roommate back her books, and I can never get a hold of her...ever.

A Little Time Spent In The Marriot Library.

I've been posting on my other blog as of late. I can't get over how much more I like the format of it than this one. Oh well.

Anyway, I just got back my 3rd Genetics test. I'm afraid to look at it. You see, I have this ritual with tests. I get them back, then I let them sit for a while before looking at them. I like the anticipation, or maybe I don't. I wait till I'm calm, and somewhere other people are not, I take a few deep breaths, prepare myself for the worst, and hope for the best. Either way (meaning whether I did horribly or not) I am planning on going home and implementing at least 2 hours of "Genetics" time today. And I'm watching Arrested Development, because I can. I guess something's supposed to go down tonight, but I don't know what. Something in So Jo, because it's seriously been too long since I've seen people.

Yo La Tengo were awesome, and very diversified in their presentation of songs. Seriously, they sound so different in pretty much all of their songs, so it's hard to classify their music. But they have excellent instrumentals often. Randomly at this concert I ran into the roommate of someone I dated briefly, so that was bizzare. Bizarre? I never know. The opening band lasted forever, and they were not good, in my opinion. I went with Sheidi, and our friend Jerry from work was there as well. And at one point I saw him nodding his head along to the music. It's not that often we see him break out like that. In other news, there was this really loud guy, and this other crazy dancing guy. Loud Guy talked insanely loud, and I'm pretty sure he was on drugs, which I deduced from him talking about them, along with his behavior. Crazy Dancing Guy thought that jumping up and down on one foot, while moving forwards and backwards, was dancing. Or doing lunges (which by the way is not dancing) and my personal favorite move, him randomly stopping all this insanity to throw his arms up in the air and yell. I felt sorry for society. His girlfriend/wife kept trying to calm him down, as he was bumping into people within any sort of radius to himself, but persist he did. Thank goodness he found someone to put up with him. But yeah, I was incredibly surprised that there wasn't a smackdown at any time that evening; however, Loud Guy did start yelling at Crazy Dancing Guy at one point, and if someone hadn't somewhat restrained Crazy Dancing Guy from invading Loud Guy's space till he left, I'm sure there would have been. I felt very disappointed all in all...in regards to that particular part of the concert anyway.

So that was yesterday and today. I'm really glad I don't have work this week. I think I'm going to go run errands today, after I do some awesome studying.

I'm So Over It.

School that is.

So this week is another where I'm completely swamped with things to do. I have this test on Wednesday I haven't studied for, and work has been insane. I guess Fall Break was this past weekend, and my intent was to study a lot, but somehow I got stuck working with Leon's opposite this whole weekend, and when I work with her I end up not even having a moment's thought to myself because I'm so incredibly busy. Part of it is that both of them are training on other instruments as of late, so I'm left to handle a lot of stuff alone, whereas I'm used to having someone share the load. Then there's just the fact that our week does things differently from their's. And I'm pretty much on my own for effort when it comes down to telling her I'm leaving at a particular time; she seems to find a bunch of stuff she wants me to do before I leave, instead of helping me do the stuff I already have to do so I can get out by my goal time. I never do, and it's a problem. I'll sure be glad when Leon comes back.

So in addition to working with her we had some major instrument problems. The fact of the matter is, I barely got out of work the day before last with time to get in 5 hours sleep before coming back again. Bleh. But that's a lot compared to lately. Yesterday I worked from 1 am to 1:30 pm, and my goal time of getting out was one. I wasn't particularly happy, but I went to lunch with my roommates, roommate #1's fiance/boyfriend/whatever, and this kid Libo from me and #2's Genetics class. It was an Asian buffet, and I think we mainly went for the sushi. It was ok, and surprisingly I'm finding I really like sushi (as long as it's in a roll, not by itself, and it's not something crunchy like crab) even though I hate fish. But none of us were hungry after we watched #1 and company down some octopus. They ate it to say they could--probably part of their "goal book"--and it looked disgusting. I guess it didn't taste good either; not bad, but not good, and I think the terrible texture pushed it over the edge of the line seperating good from bad, along with the fact that apparently it squirted stuff out when chewed. Uggghh. Still just the thought of it makes me lose my appetite. As Libo aptly stated, it looked like cancer. If ever I decide I want to diet, that's how I'll do it--thinking of that moment. But #2 cracked me up; she sat there with a sick sort of fascination towards the whole thing, saying things like, "Chew it," over and over again (rather forcefully), and "swallow, swallow." And #1 for some reason totally listened to her. But none of us could eat after that. Only I did. I felt full in my throat, not my stomach, and having paid for the thing I figured I could always make myself eat cream cheese wantons and sugar flatbread. My roommates are pretty funny, so it was enjoyable.

After that I studied for a while, but Brandon our neighbor came over and was grading Biology papers for a class he's TA-ing for, and between him and the two of us (#2), talking not related to Genetics happened quite a lot. I love that kid though; he makes me laugh so hard. I ended up leaving at a quarter to 7, to go to this concert down in Provo, at the Valour? It was a bunch of local bands, and I had fun, but it could have been better music-wise. Not bad, but not exactly my cup of tea. Mainly I rather enjoyed watching people get their freak on. I love people watching when people are doing random things, and there was an abundance of that happening. Lot's of people dancing who managed to look completely spasmotic and all over the place, in a way likely to hurt anyone nearby, and yet at the same time weren't completely devoid of talent--and seemingly had no inhibitions when it came to their random moves. There was this one kid, who looked like he was in high school, but Sheidi and I totally wanted to adopt him he was so adorable. Very awkward looking dance moves, but he was moving the whole time and was obviously in his zone. But yeah, certain hand moves would turn into rubbing his nose or smoothing the back of his hair; things you would do if you were pretending you hadn't done something you just did. And he was wearing this red sweater with colar poking out, and a pink bandana around his head. He looked a lot like a kid at my work. But I found myself thinking outloud, as Duckling would have said, "I want to be his friend right now."

I basically got no sleep last night because of all this. I went with Sheidi and some of her friends--and randomly this kid her sister and his sister-in-law wanted to set her up with, and one of his friends. It was so hot inside (I want to say "the club," but there were a lot of young kids and no drinking, so I don't know what to classify it as), and was freezing outside. And then we got icecream. All in all it was a pretty fun excursion, but now I have to buckle down and start studying like there's no tomorrow. Rather, like there is a tomorrow, because if there wasn't I sure wouldn't be stuck studying for this thing.

So here's something pretty exciting: my Muslim friend from work invited me to eat at his house Monday night for Ramadan. I'll have to skip most of League, but it's totally worth it. I love Middle Eastern food, and I really love learning more about different cultures, so I'm completely psyched about it. I figure it will be a nice little break from studying that night, and I don't have work the next morning, so it'll be alright. And I'm going to my ward for the first time this morning, with both of my roommates, so finally I can transfer my records, pay my tithing, and renew my temple recommend. That will be nice to get out of the way. Incidentally, with all of my ward hopping, and shere laziness on top of that, I owe 8 months worth of tithing, which adds up to over a thousand dollars. I have it all just waiting in my bank account to be paid, but it will be slightly sad to see such a large chunk go at once. Actually that part will be fine, but how my account will look afterwards will be sad. But it needs to be done.

I Can't Remember A Time Before This Story Began.

So I just had a story happen to me. It starts off on a rather pleasant night/morning, one that by all accounts (both recent and previous) should have been much colder and wetter. As it was, the wet came later, and unfortunately, was within doors.

I spent most of the night studying Organic Chemistry with my roommate, #1. Or I should say, alternately studying Organic Chemistry while talking to both of my roommates. And 2 guy friends who were there because they were long boarding from the stadium to my house in the dark, and to whisk away roommate #2 to do the same, who doesn't have an Organic Chemistry test today. If not for that we would have all been long boarding in the dark. I contemplated doing it anyway, on the grounds that if I injured myself (an unavoidable occurrence in this case), I would have a legitimate excuse to not take my test. Already throughout this semester I've noticed an unpleasant trend of me not working as hard as I could and should. I really do love school and what I'm studying this semester, but I've also found a lot of opportunities to play hard, and those generally tend to trump homework in any given situation.

This weekend being General Conference definitely heightened that fact. I briefly, or not so briefly, break from my story here, only to start another story that might eventually tie in to the first, but will most probably instead stem into yet another story from an earlier time. I absolutely love Conference, and this one was especially good, but I slacked off in between. Saturday was the regular Conference Breakfast, and though there were no crepes, there were German pancakes, which made up for the first by diffusing powdered sugar throughout my system. A lot of other stuff was present, and I had it all, save the Chocolate chocolate cake donuts. During Conference we colored pictures in coloring books, which is something I forgot entirely about from last Conference, and is something I've missed acutely since moving out of the West Valley house. In between sessions we went to tea at GV. I really love clotted cream and peppermint tea, so I was brimming with both come the start of Session 2. Still I managed to eat some of Joshuar's fries during the talks, and I really don't know how I managed to take 2 very large German pancake slices home with me, covered in powdered sugar, as I was leaving FK's house that day. It wasn't the taking of them that is unfathomable, but I did finish them both in the car on the way home. That night we (ironically all of us girls, though we waited till Priesthood was over), went to a pub and got the best meatloaf ever. FK, Duckling, and Pinkie had to pick me up as my car was broken. Which marks the beginning of yet another story. One that happened before I went to Graywhale and bought myself cd's, which made the aforementioned 3 wait at my house for a good 30 minutes, or a bad 30 minutes as it more likely was, because I lost track of time borrowing my parent's van, and those 3 were nice enough to drive me home to Salt Lake that night.

The reason why I was bumming rides had to do with a certain 1985 Pontiac Sunbird deciding not to start, yet again. This time it had to do with wires my dad cut in his search for the previous problem, and which didn't stay together when twined. Incidentally, Friday night I had to take Traxx to So Jo, because my sisters and I and my mother were going out to dinner that night. My oldest sister decided we needed these monthly Girls Night Out dinners a while back, but we got out of the habit and just started it again. I got some studying in there, but minimally, and once I got to my parents' house I really just needed to use the internet. So then two of my sisters arrived, and at that point I thought, "I wonder what they're doing here and where they're going (because it obviously wasn't a coincidence); I want to come." Then I voiced basically just that to my sister Kim, and then I immediately remembered why I was there, and that I did get to go to wherever they were going. I'm a genius sometimes. We went to a Sports Bar, but I don't remember the name. I really like my sisters, so it was enjoyable. My car was fixed Saturday night, but was at my house and therefore unattainable.

So I really should have spent more time studying Organic Chemistry. The problem is that I get it and it makes sense, but I can't make myself take the time required to do all of the problems, and some things just need a lot of practice to do really well on come a test. I did spend 2 hours at work yesterday doing homework, because I was donating platelets at the same time. Before that I hadn't yet admitted defeat to the beast that is O Chem, so I cancelled a lunch with friends to do homework, then decided I would go after all; but alas, I had locked my keys in my car. Unfortunately my windows were not cracked at all, and I learned that it's harder to break into a metal car than a plastic one. I ended up calling the U's campus police to jimmy it, and that took about 2 hours. From there I did platelets, and directly after that I went to our group meeting just long enough to get cake, then went to Institute and had the coolest lesson ever. We talked a lot about Orthodox, and Heresy, and got into some very deep discussions. Mainly about the nature of God's omnipotence, because apparently Brigham Young said something about God's ability to progress throughout time, and how he is continuously learning things, as we do. He then mentioned Willard Richards' (?) opposing opinions, where instead God progresses only because we as his children are progressing, and he essentially gets the credit for that. We talked about a child's perspective of his parents, in comparison to his own. Basically we were given a lot of different opinions, but none of them definitive. And so it mostly came down to thinking for ourselves. My own thoughts are that God is much smarter than I'll every be, and knows more than anyone else on any given subject in the Universe, but that doesn't mean there isn't more to learn. What's important is that he knows more than me, and thus can adequately guide and lead me, regardless of what I don't comprehend, in the situations of my life.

Class went late, and then I drove Sheidi to her aunt's house, who got sent home with the chocolate Sheidi's mom bought for her presentation on chocolate of all things. Then I drove her to her class. Curiously, her car too broke down, but the day after mine, as it also did the first time my car broke down, 2 weeks ago. I can relate to the not being able to get around thing, so that and my extreme desire to not study chemistry led to my willingness to drive her around for a while. I guess our friendship factors somewhere in there as well, but mainly I was in it for the chocolate.

Cut back to the first story. I really should have spent more time studying Organic Chemistry. One of the 2 long boarding guys at my house, Brandon, has apparently spent a lot of time as every kind of tutor you can think of, including said subject. It was actually nice to study in a group environment for once; I learned a lot I couldn't have by myself. If only it was easier to make #1 study with me more often, instead of her concentration being glued to her fiance. The drawback was that there was way too much talking happening that had nothing to do with the topic at hand. We discussed the option of choosing to know about fatal genes beforehand, stem cell research and the ethics involved, all-you-can-eat sushi buffets, and of course, among other things, long boarding. I pried myself away soon after some in depth discussions on chiral molecules to go to work.

Where my story ends is in the lab, which I just spent the last hour mopping, because the second Immunocap 1000 sprung a leak where the DI water hose is connected. While I was trying to fix the problem, the whole tube broke wide open, and where there was a pretty big puddle before, there was then a lake of an impressive quality for being inside of a building. Oh, and the rack loader on my instrument just broke. It's looking to be a stand-up day for one already promising. I guess it's good I have things like this to keep me busy when I've gotten no sleep and have a test in mere hours. I can't fall asleep if I'm shooting myself in the foot.

Belated.

My poor, neglected blog. And I don't have a really good excuse for it either. Unless of course you count the "me not having the internet" thing. I haven't yet figured out how to steal it from the neighbors. Usually I have some access on my on weeks of work, and I have access at school when I'm there, but when I'm there I'm in class, and once I'm home I don't want to walk back there just for the internet, even if it is only a couple of blocks. Anyway, enough excuses.

Thursday my car died again. I figured it might be because it was out of gas, but gas didn't seem to change much. Fortunately school is close enough to walk to, so the only real inconvenience was that I couldn't go to the gym, which I didn't particularly want to do anyways. And I only had two classes; one a lecture for my lab, which I won't even have next week, and the other Institute. So Sheidi gave me a ride home from Institute, and then the deep cleaning of my house began. My roommates and I deep cleaned our house by the way. It's an old house, and it really needed it; plus our landlord was cutting our rent by 200 bucks this month to do it, so we're practically paying nothing. I think the best method of going about it would have involved gasoline and matches though. It needs to be repainted at the very least.

Wednesday I made it through my 3rd Organic Chemistry lab. Man do I hate that lab. My TA for it is so lax it makes me nervous. I seriously get anxiety every time I go, and then my roommate, who is my lab partner, gets anxiety from me. I leave thinking, "shouldn't volumes matter in chemistry?" My TA doesn't seem to think so. Personally I think he's building a false sense of security, telling us not to worry so much about strictly following procedures, and he's really just weeding out A's from the B's. You really can't get lower than that in a lab, but even if everyone deserved an A they can only give out a set number of them, so everyone else is stuck with B's. I really hate labs. I never know what I'm doing, and they won't let you fully know until after you've done the experiment, written up a conclusion for that experiment, and have then taken a quiz on the experiment. Then they clue you in to why it worked and what the point was. So I've pretty much challenged my TA on everything he's ever said. I want to understand what I'm doing. He seems to want us to stand on our own feet, which is good, but I for one need some kind of guidance before I can become comfortable enough to do that. Roommate #1, who is my lab partner, keeps hissing, "he's going to fail you if you keep being so confrontational," but I don't think that's true. He knows I'm smart, and the thing about nice people like her is that they think everyone is insulted by other people being rude to them. Not true. Some people can take it. I personally try not to be purposefully rude unless I know someone can handle it, and Brian deserves it more than most.

I guess I should relate my first lab experience now. Not too surprisingly to those I know, I'm pretty anal in a lot of ways (a random waiter gave me the nickname "anal annie"), and a total perfectionist on top of that. So I have 2 lab parnters: #1 and Mr. Cynical. Which meant that there wasn't much for me to do, because the two of them covered most of it; and so I mainly loomed about and questioned everything they did. I did catch a few errors. Apparently my roommate and I are like "the odd couple," according to Mr. Cynical that is. And I give her anxiety, as was aforementioned. Anyway, I mainly took this lab at this time just because I knew I had to have a lab partner for it, and with my roommate taking it and her threatening me that I had to take it as well so I could be her lab partner...well, I kind of figured I'd have a lab partner. We randomly picked up Mr. Cynical our first lab because he had no one, and we didn't mind having another person. Personally I think he was hitting on #1 a little, and for some reason my drawer is the other isle, while his is next to hers, so that's the real reason we ended up with him. He asked if she had a lab partner, and she did, but she said he could join us. So if you couldn't guess by his name, he's a total punk, but that's not to say I dislike him. It's just always interesting when I meet someone as cynical as myself. He was trying to be frustrating, but I don't mind people like that, because I'm kind of one my self sometimes. I can be a smart alec. Anyway, Mr. Cynical doesn't want to get married, and he thinks you can turn love off, so you can stop feelings towards someone if you don't want to feel them. Funny how adamently #1 fought him on that, considering she didn't believe in love either until she met her fiance, and now suddenly everything's coming up roses. I think I can specifically remember a group of friends having a conversation very similar to the one I witnessed in my lab, but over fondue, and her arguments were very similar to his, only not against marriage, just the idea of love.

Right, so I think there's too much socializing in there and not enough science. Actually I rescind that statement; there's plenty of science, but not enough understanding. And that is my lab so far. The lab that I don't actually need to be taking. Oh, that kills me still. Just one more stress to throw on top of the pile, in the middle of the week when I have other things to divide my attentions between. My next post will be less depressing.

Posting For The Sake Of Posting.

I guess it's been long enough.

Let's see...following up on past events...I sadly never got to go to the Indian or the Brazilian Festivals. That was the day the weather chose to be crappy. I don't so much like this cold, drizzly weather. And I really don't look forward to defrosting my car at 3 am once the winter wears on. You see, I just remembered, which in the gap of years since I first drove EVE I managed to forget, that she totally doesn't have the back window defrosters. I guess she's too old of a car to have the heating wires built into the glass. Yuck. Anyway, even though it was kind of chilly and windy throughout the day, certain patches of it were nice. I didn't really want to drive all the way down to Provo to find myself stuck in a bad patch, especially with a time limit to get back for the wedding, so right after we decided to scrap the idea I was driving back to So Jo and noticed that at the building next to the library there was a Mexican Festival going on. I called Sheidi, who I was going to go to the other two with, and we ended up randomly going to that one instead. I really just like authentic food from different cultures, regardless of the origin. The smothered burrito I had was very good, but I later wished I had gotten the steak tacos the family next to me had. The churros were absolutely amazing, and incredibly filling. Not your standard bowling alley variety. I also got pineapple juice, which is my favorite juice ever, but is usually hard to find. This particular selection contained more sugar than an ant colony ravaging a stash of cinnamon rolls. I am a firm believer that there is no such thing as "too sweet," so I was happy.

I then ended up going to get some holds of mine from the library, and followed that up by buying a wedding present at Target with my sister and the twins for this wedding. I also bought a David Bowie shirt, which I love more than I can express in words.

The wedding was weird, let me just say. It was an actual wedding, and so it was different from any other I've seen to this point, including those of my two older sister's which were also actual weddings. Okay, that sounded totally retarded. I meant that they were not temple marriages, but the standard ceremony everyone outside of Utah thinks of when you mention a wedding; I didn't mean to imply that a temple wedding wasn't an actual wedding, which would mean we're all in trouble otherwise. I mean, it was nice, but just different. The bishop who married them was giving them advice while doing the whole vow ceremony, and it totally reminded me of a Sunday talk, complete with little bits of humor and stories, which made it last forever and perplexed me ever so slightly. The reception was more like a barbecue, which I was totally for, and I managed to not do a lot of homework that weekend, along with losing my 30+ dollar O Chem Lab book. I still have no idea where it could have gone.

So right now I'm a little bit exhausted. I'm at work and I just had a highly pleasant Saturday night, which followed an excellent Friday night--neither of which included all that much sleep, if any. I can't wait till tomorrow, when I start my off week, and I guess I'll probably write about the previous nights then? We'll see, but I definitely am too tired to undertake that now.

To Whom It May Concern

So I made up a new blog. Mainly just because I could. I guess I plan on writing in it more often than this one? Probably more writing, shorter posts. I can’t promise anything when it comes to the subject matter though. Perhaps more of my thoughts and less of my dramatic stories? I always start out with short stories, and embellish till I have a novel. Not that my embellishments are embellishments in the sense that they’re not true, just more information than I strictly need to supply. Anyway, I was looking at my profile and the title and such for this blog, which I don’t really ever do even though they’re never not there, and it just reminded me that what I originally planned for this blog and what I ended up with are two very different things. So we’ll see where I end up. Here it is:

http://notthefirstone.blogspot.com

Genetics Is Eating My Lunch.

I guess it's time for a new post. As always I have things I could write, and no time whatsoever to write them. Well, I shouldn't say that, because obviously I'm writing, but that's more to keep myself from killing myself over Genetics right now than anything else. Basically I can't write anything substantial till after Friday, which is when my test is.

A while ago a friend of mine from work, Boy Sarcastic--who incidentally is possibly one of my favorite people to have worked with ever, asked me about my classes. I told him I was taking Genetics, and he replied, "Genetics; man, that class ate my lunch." He's a smart guy, he went into the degree I'm going into, and so understandably that statement worried and disturbed me ever so slightly. Genetics is currently making its way down the street with my ham sandwich.

Anyway, my second test is on Friday. I did okay on the first test, but not spectacular. There are 7 altogether, and I can drop 2 I think, one of which I think will be dropped after this Friday. I'm really not all that prepared for this test. I've studied, but not as much as I should have, and I'm not feeling as comfortable with this information as I did for the last one. A lot of that is that I've been worrying about the post-lab for my O Chem lab I've been procrastinating up until today. I started my pre-lab yesterday for today, and my post-lab which I didn't finish. So I need to do that before I leave work today, considering my lab is tonight. I never can do these things until the last minute, when I'm forced to, but not having them done gives me anxiety. And I really should have tried to understand the experiment we'll be doing tonight better, but I'm preoccupied. Did I mention my car broke down Monday? I spent a large part of my day, pretty much all the moments I wasn't in school, getting a hold of my dad and then trying to start it while he was trying different things that might make it start. Turns out all it needed was to be hit really hard with a wrench on the fuel tank. But right now it's in So Jo, awaiting its entrance into the shop, and I'm driving the mini van till then. Yeah, I didn't get much homework done that day. Yesterday wasn't much better. I can't believe my roommate is able to study so much for this test with 21 credit hours and two jobs. Some people are too smart for their own good, and especially mine. Goodbye ham sandwich.

The Weekly Chronicle Of My Life.

I've put off writing anything real for quite a while now. I'm putting off a lot of things lately (namely homework), so it's hard to do anything I want or need to do when I know that I constantly need to do homework, and no matter how much of that I accomplish, there will always be more. Story of my life right now.

So this weekend marks the third one in a row where I've meant to buckle down and get serious about reading and doing the problems associated with my chosen courses, yet instead I've made plans to enjoy myself. What is wrong with me, right? Kind of sad that so much didn't happen this summer when I could have done these things, instead of now when I have no time. Not that I didn't enjoy relaxing and playing tennis mind. Anyway, my niece is getting married this Saturday, which is tomorrow. I can't do anything about that, but that's not till later and I did make extensive plans for the day time, which I definitely could have helped. Sheidi told me about this Brazilian Festival and Indian Festival, both taking place on Saturday and apparently similar to the Greek Festival, and both held within a pretty close proximity to the wedding I'm attending. I can't say no to food, so we're hitting both of them, along with some other friends from work hopefully (No I'm not hitting co-workers). The Greek Festival was pretty awesome last Saturday. You can't not love the music and dancing going on around you when it's so eccentric, compared to what you're used to. Apparently my old supervisor Mr. Lax's children were dancing there. His wife is Greek, and he bribed his son to do it--not surprising it took that for a 15 year old boy when a silly costume was involved. But the important thing is that I got my baklava fix. I also ate spitted lamb, which was the most amazing thing ever, along with some other deserts.

That same day I went rock climbing with Aaron, Clark, and Brett. On an actual rock. That was kind of a big deal for me, because I've never gone rock climbing on an actual mountain not made of plastic before. Clark belayed (?) while Aaron climbed up like freaking Spider Man to set the little loop things and rope (I know, my knowledge of rock climbing jargon is astounding). Brett went up next. Clark and I just stood there for the most part and he told me about his Ballroom dancing tournament in Vegas. He also struck random poses, which were oh so Clark, and made me laugh. Sadly he never got to climb. It started to get pretty overcast, which happens when you plan a rock climbing excursion at 2 am the night before (which is technically that day, but you know what I mean). I was half way up the rock face when it started to sprinkle--we're talking the big fat drops that happen when it's a hot day, and incidentally my favorite kind of rain. Then suddenly it was pouring. I kind of just kept going, till lightning happened of course, then I went down. But it was so cool being right there hugging a mountain during a rain storm. I'm a firm believer that rain smells so good because wet rocks and dirt smell so good. And no, wet dirt and mud are not the same thing. I totally licked rocks as a child. But anyway, the mountain smelled really good from where I was. Afterwards we went back to Brett's house and ate all of his icecream and cookies, then later that night, once I got back to Salt Lake, I went to this bonfire with some friends. Actually, we spent 2 hours trying to find Little Cottonwood Canyon, and once we found that and the actual campsite we spent about an hour more trying to find our particular bonfire. There were a lot of them happening there, but most of the other ones had booz and marijuana as well, I'm pretty sure. By the time we actually found the thing we were so tired that we didn't spend all that long at the actual bonfire. And considering I had work the next morning, I couldn't exactly lament that fact.

Other goings on this weekend: the guys I went rock climbing with are going on a camping/hiking/rock climbing excursion this weekend. I didn't feel like typing out names again, but it feels weird to have not done so. Anyway, the point is that I can not go. The wedding this weekend is a family thing, and thus obligatory, so that's the only reason why I'm going to these festivals and not Southern Utah, which I think is where it is. But I still want to go Splunking Aaron, so let me know if there are any more opportunities to brush up on my almost non-existent rock climbing techniques in the immediate future. Also, WJJ is going to a gun show this weekend. He offered me an invite after he called to get my address for a certain someone's wedding announcement, and I answered and simultaneously hung up on him in my Institute class (I could not figure out how to turn off the ring, and it was becoming increasingly more embarrassing by the moment, disrupting the class in such a way, so I did the only thing I could think of). But if anyone wants to witness WJ getting excited about shooting things, give him a call--I'm sure he'd appreciate making a spectacle of himself all the more the greater the number of people involved.

Do you like George Wendt?

So just wondering Pinkie: are you serious about wanting to go sky diving? Because I was talking to a friend who's gone before this past week, and it would cost 175 bucks--plus 40 if you want pictures and videos taken during--but I totally want to do it. I was thinking as part of my Fun Week 2007 list. You drop for a mile, then float with the parachute out for another mile. Apparently it's not so much scary as it is just peculiar feeling. And of course the first few times you go you have to be strapped to an experienced sky diver. Do I have any other takers? Let's take a survey.

Science Shmyence.

I guess it's been a while. I actually have quite a few things I would like to write about, but no time to do so. And actually I can't really think of them write now, as my memory is horrible, but I have some of the things that have happened to me this past week--that I would like to address-- written on a post-it somewhere. So that will have to wait. But not to worry; the time will come.

Right now I'm at the Marriot Library on Campus, but I really need to be at home doing my homework. I have 2 chapters for Genetics I need to read, and I need to start on my problem sets. I also have my O Chem Lab tomorrow, so I have to write up a pre-lab or something. I get so stressed out about labs. They're only worth half a credit, yet they take up most of your life. 4 hours of my week...only I'm hoping for it to only take up 2...then again with pre-labs and post-lab write-ups I'm betting on at least 4. Funny that I'm a scientist and yet I dread the actual part of my major that makes up what a scientist is. I simply don't like being rushed, yet I hate standing still for more than a half hour at a time, and the whole being graded to experiment thing is still a concept that eludes me. I mean, the exciting thing about experimenting is the not having bounds for learning, getting hands on experience, and the possibility of discovering something new or that will help your understanding of the world to widen. I mean, basic rules will keep you from burning off your hand (which is something I definitely appreciate), but if you're so worried about not getting something exactly right (because you'll be marked down for it), that it affects your ability to get it exactly right... It really is just me. Hopefully I'll get over it and in the future labs will intimidate me less. Maybe having a lab partner I know will help with that. She is pre-med; but I still wonder just how good she is at the lab part of these classes, having never seen how she does at such things.

That said, I really should be going. I just spent 70 bucks on my lab book and lab notebook. I'm a little irritated right now. Of course, I came from Institute before then, which was good, so that helped a little. And before that I went shopping with my sister. I really hate shopping, and she really hates shopping with me, but it had to be done. I needed pants, after tripping down the cement stairs at my house and ripping my only decent pair, and that was accomplished. Randomly we ran into my oldest sister and her two youngest kids, and her oldest, at the mall. I hate the mall. Anyway, she lives in Lindon, so that was really weird, but we had just been talking about how we wanted to hang out with Jessilee moments earlier, and suddenly there he was...so that was fortunate. My one-year-old niece Charity only likes me when I give her food, so thankfully I was holding a cinnamon sugar pretzel. Dallin refuses to hug me, or let me take pictures of him, except sometimes he randomly will--little punk. Jess realizes through years of experience that not hugging his aunties and letting us pinch his cheeks will only get him sandwiched. We went to the Dinosaur portion of the mall, and they seemed to have fun. Charity followed Dallin around saying, "where's Dallin?" whenever she lost sight of him. She totally adores the kid, who is 3 and largely ignores her; I simply can't imagine idolizing my brother in such a way--I managed to repress most of the memories that included him before his mission, which helps me to not hold anything against him now. He turned out to be an amazing person, but boy did he have a long way to go. Finally my little sis and I went to Best Buy, where she bought me 3 movies, and I was happy. But it took forever, which was my fault because I can't make decisions on my own, and my day went by with much on my list unaccomplished. I ultimately had my sister pick out the clothes she thought I should buy, because I'm so bad at doing that, and then after trying them on and showing them to her I just bought what she told me to. I like not having to think about these things, because I rarely like clothes I pick out myself. The clothes I like best I stole from siblings, and thus were selected by them. I'd now like to take the time to say that I seem to remember a certain roommate telling me once that she would be happy to be the person to do my shopping for me, and I would then just buy what she told me to; so I would just like to remind her of that promise right now for future instances.

And now I really do have to go. Thankfully I don't have work this week, so I'll be able to stay up late doing homework. Ooh, and even though buying books made me sad, I did buy a new little key-chain highlighter as well as the marker at the bookstore to replace the ones I lost. Also some little flash cards on a key-ring that will come in handy for O Chem reactions, names, and elements. I really do love shopping for office supplies--it's the only kind of shopping I like.

The Tonka Man

This past weekend I got to go camping with my fam. It was all of my siblings (though not all for the same amounts of time), my nieces and nephews, the parents, Grandma-ma, and my dad's siblings and their children. I got to fish a lot. Just me, my vest, and my pole in a fishing intertube in the middle of the lake. And my 12-year-old nephew nearby saying in a very high, purposefully obnoxious, and may I say British-sounding, voice "I don't have time for such trivial matters" (think, "Boo-kay residence, lady of the house speaking"). The name of this post is what he used to call himself when he was 3. So this weekend I ended up unhooking all of his fish, because for some reason he can't, but that's what I told him when he tangled up his line. It was his problem, he was and is perfectly capable of dealing with it, and that's where I drew the line. But of course he's a punk, and he had this high pitched laugh/chuckle to go along with the phrase--both of which made me laugh. He's kind of my favorite most days.

So I never manage to go four-wheeling when I camp. I mean, I go on them as a passenger, but I never remember how to drive them. It's like driving a stick, only complicated, and when I never practice the skills once I learn them I forget them right away, every time. I spend too much time fishing with my dad I guess. I love out-fishing him, which I definitely accomplished this weekend.

My nephew ended up staying with us the last night we were there, even though his family went home that afternoon. I love playing card games while camping, and I love playing card games with him in particular, mainly because of this one time when he was ten. We were playing Uno and he kept saying, "I choose Cazelle, the mythical beast, in attack mode!" every time he put down a card (It's some Yu-Gi-Oh! Card or another). He was trying to be annoying, he succeeded in being annoying--even though it was somewhat amusing--and fortunately he's now sufficiently embarrassed about once liking Yu-Gi-Oh! that whenever we play card games I can yell, "I choose Cazelle, the mythical beast, in attack mode!" whenever I put a card down, and I embarrass/annoy him just enough to make him laugh and say something snide to me, which makes me laugh and is my goal. Could I have made a longer sentence? Possibly not.

So while camping I ended up playing Killer Bunnies with him, my little sister, and my now-brother-in-law (That kind of sounds like I don't expect him to be for much longer, but really I'm just saying that because I'm so used to calling him my almost-brother-in-law). It's totally the kind of game they all would like, because of the sheer randomness of it all. It got pretty late pretty fast, and we ended up playing most of it by lantern light. Big drawback: there were moths everywhere. I actually coped quite well with just knowing they were there, but every time one flew near me I screamed bloody murder. My dad wasn't happy, because people were trying to sleep, but it wasn't conscientiously done.

Then I got a lecture from my Grandma about drinking caffiene; much better than her lectures about bare mid-drifts, even though I've never worn anything that would bare my mid-drift...although those conversations are more amusing. My Grandma makes me laugh...not intentionally of course. But she's so worried about things that won't happen. Actually I don't know why the stomach fetish. Anti-fetish maybe? Once she told me I was going to get stomach pneumonia when I tossed one of my 1 year old neices in the air (still holding on of course) and my sweater happened to rise ever so slightly. Oblivious that I am, not only did I not have any idea what she was refering to, but my thoughts were as follow: #1 (which I happened to say)-"I can't get pneumonia; I've had a shot" and #2 (which I thought to myself after I said the first)-'I don't think there is such a thing as stomach pneumonia.' Fortunately my mother was nearby and, after rolling her eyes at my confused expression, she informed me about what I'd missed. It's always interesting with my Grandmother around. She loves to talk, so fortunately I didn't end up driving with her on the way home. I love to hear her talk, but I had homework, and considering we're already the rebel non-BYU family of the bunch, I bet she would have had words about me studying on a Sunday.