Plan B

I haven't written in a while. School has me in a corner. A corner of unhappiness. Extreme unhappiness. That's all I'm going to say about that, except that I'm sick of multiple weekly tests, papers, presentations, case studies abounding, and random homework assignments to fill in all the spaces of time we don't have when we've rarely had homework up to this point. This last month was poorly planned amongst my professors, and I haven't a drop of motivation left in me.

On that happy note, I finished my blook bank presentation today, have a paper due tomorrow, 2 tests the next day and then I have no more classes. Sure, I have 3 finals the week next, but I don't work any of the days working up to it, so I'm pretty psyched. I think I'm going to do my paper on porphyrias (the disease that helped bring about myths of vampires and wherewolves), and I've already researched to the point where I don't think it will be too difficult, once I force myself to bust it out, which I will do at work tonight. I haven't quite decided what I'm going to do about my tests on Wednesday, but I take comfort in the knowledge that if I can just manage to not fail, I won't have another damn class till at next November. If I do fail, I won't have to take any tests/classes until a much longer time period, but that is not the preferable option as I would be retaking classes...and if I have no motivation now, I sure as well won't have any more next year.

Likely I'll quit school and join the circus. This has been my plan for some time (almost as long as I've been attending college), but I have yet to find and perfect a skill that would make me desireable to the circus. I can't juggle, I like heights but my legs always shake even when I'm not at all scared, and clowns are a diabolical invention. I suppose I could take hromones and grow a mustache and beard, but I think it would be itchy, and I don't think the circus likes to expose the freaks as they once did. I know the circus sometimes gets a bad wrap for the exposition of animals and subsequent cruelty, but after reading the Life of Pi, I think maybe it might be not be so bad after all, perhaps. If the trainer makes himself the top dog to a bunch of lions, and they think he's the top lion because in the wild a real lion would be in his place and they would instinctively be stepping down and subjecting themselves to him...who are we to say it isn't just as good as how it happens in nature, especialy if the animal doesn't know any different? Dogs have been made to believe they're human, and I learned on a podcast not to long ago that there do exist retirement homes for retired show biz chimps, and they can watch tv whenever they want. Just a thought, and I'm probably wrong, but if I'm going to work for the circus I must tell myself these things.