5 Things...okay, more like 10, because let's face it, I often get carried away.

My friend Becca tagged me to write 5 semi unique things about myself. None of them are unique in and of themselves, but I'm sure it would be a sad thing indeed were you to find another person who could encompasses any five of them at once. The thing was, I got to writing, and since school has made me forget how to do simple math, I kept going, till I realized I was still going, and then I stopped. So here are some things:

1) My memory is the single most unreliable thing ever. Don't get me wrong, like many other people I have an awesome short term memory when I commit things quickly, and later they vanish like thin air. Well, when it comes to run of the mill every day things, I generally can't even remember what happened to me yesterday, until I'm reminded by something someone said, or something I see...then it comes rushing back to me with extreme clarity. Put on the spot I can't even remember my first name. That's why I love taking pictures, especially in a digital age where my camera takes note of the date and time. It's amazing how much feeling a single image can bring with it. For instance, this particular image shouldn't particularly stick out as anything special in my childhood, and yet looking at it I'm reminded of exactly how I was feeling and what I was thinking at that moment in time. I was trying to convince my mom and dad that I did indeed like pees. The fact of the matter is, I did not like peas. Even now I don't like pees unless they're fresh out of a garden, but at that moment I was trying to be less disagreeable, because I was a very picky child.


In this picture I remember being more pleased than with any other birthday gift just about ever. I was in kindergarten, it was my birthday, and my teacher was giving us these giant birthday scrolls. I was very pleased indeed. My cousins are in the background, and at the time I felt they surely must be jealous of my giant birthday scroll.

I was pissed here, and it was Easter. I would almost bet on it having something to do with not finding as many eggs as I wanted to. And probably what I was wearing, though I think I remember it being quite comfortable. I want to say I was 4.

And below, me next to my lil' sis, dad, big sis, and big bro (behind her). We were at Sea World or some place like it, because we were waiting to watch the bird show. It was wicked hot, and was beginning to take it's tole on all of us. This was a particular moment of trial for us all.


2) I'm both a pack rat and a neat freak, both compliments of my mother. Those two aspects clash constantly. Usually messiness from acquired objects prevails, but it doesn't sit well with me.

3) I'm incredibly paranoid. Or at least I was as a wee lass. I used to wake up every morning at 5 am as a child to say goodbye to my dad as he went to school (he was a high school teacher). I was afraid it might be the last time I ever saw him if he got in a car accident on the way to work. I also used to worry that I'd all of the sudden hit a growth spur in my sleep (as most that occur do) that would leave me without any clothes that fit me, and I wouldn't be able to go out and buy new ones because I wouldn't have any to go out in public in. Basically I was afraid I'd be naked when I grew up. My mother still laughs about this.


4) I see things in my head differently than they really are. I could have sworn this cherry antenae topper this one time was in fact a firefly on Mars. In my defense, it was faded and there was only one stem, but still. I also could not for the life of me find the fridge in my basement the other day even though I was inches from it. It was like Grimhold's place in Harry Potter. I was looking for your standard white fridge, and it was black instead, so I just kept looking from my dad's model car cabinet to the piano in confusion (there isn't usually a fridge in the basement). And for some reason I was looking for a ceramic cat instead of a real cat at the end of my parents' bed one day, because my dad told me there was supposed to be a marker by it which I needed. The story there is that they have this ceramic chicken in the cupboard that holds markers usually, so I ask you, was that really such a far fetched thing for me to be looking for in the first place? And of course my family gets such a kick out of these things. I love them, but I'm pretty sure they think I'm stupider than I actually am. My little sister says that she's never known someone so smart with so little sense. Luckily she's family, so she can think that and I just don't care.

5) I'm awesome at hitting inanimate objects with my car. So far under my belt (I figured that particular expression would be appropriate, or innappropriate, with Becca in mind--mull over that one Becca) I have a mailbox, a garage door, a cement freeway barrier, the chainlink fence to the side of the freeway, a metal pole, some plant in my front yard my dad seemed intent on preserving, the neighbor's wooden fence, my brother's not moving truck that happened to by in my spot in the driveway, garbage cans, a ditch, endless curbs, and most recently, one of the cement filled red curved metal poles (as pictured) at the gas station.


6) I get the hiccups at least once a day. Pretty much any time I drink anything. If ever after eating I get to the state where I'm full, I have the hiccups. Even if I only hiccup a couple times before they're gone again.

7) Lighting and aesthetics really affect me. I think I'm bipolar or something. If the lighting isn't just right, I can't study, and my mood in general suffers. Along the same lines, sort of, I love old ugly looking cars. Aesthetically I find them pleasing. It's the boxy look that I like so much, or at least the many boxy angles, because as it happens I think hummers are horrid looking cars.

8) Simple tasks seem to evade me. I've never been able to do cartwheels or hand stands. I used to could whistle really well, when I had a bird, but alas that skill too has left me. I also can't trill or roll my tongue--though it's my life long dream, and one day you all will be amazed. And I can't swim, despite having had lessons.

9) I love horrible laughter. I'm a major people watcher, in a not creepy way of course. I find way too many things funny that are not. I'm constantly laughing at peoples' reactions to different things, and I don't even notice that I'm the only one really amused, but I can't even help it. Idiosynchrosies draw me in.

10) Unlike Becca, I've always loved animals. we've had just about every kind a person could growing up. Of course we had your normal variety..cats, dogs, mice, rabbits, fish, finches, snakes, a love bird, a caterpillar when I was 6..but then we also had a feather footed chicken, a newbian goat, a goose..pretty much every kind of animal we could drag home and talk my dad into keeping, or any kind that would randomly adopt us. My dad would firmly and sternly say no, but we knew if we just ignored him he would let us keep them anyway, because he's a total softy at heart. I've wanted a monkey for as long as I could remember. Currently I'm pretty happy with my angel fish, shark, etc. But I would really really like a turtle or tortoise I could name Waffle.

And

11) As you might have noticed, I am really not good at brevity when it comes to writing. I was super shy as a child, and as such my social skills were stunted to the point that I'm still not very good when it comes to talking, but when I'm writing I have no control. Or stop button. Wouldn't it be nice to have a stop button?

Look at the good I do.

Can I just say that I'm awesome when it comes to thinking about writing on here? I have more drafts than actual posts right now. In my defense I've been really busy lately. However, finals finally ended and I'm positively giddy with anticipation. It's so nice to just sit back and breath. And think of all the things I need to do before school starts back up. 1st on the list, as always, is cleaning my room. Then I have Turkey Bowl pictures I promised to send to people, and Ugly Christmas Sweater pictures I promised to send to yet other people. I still have one day left of work before I can really get on these things, but I'm looking forward to it.

Get this, I was so bored at work last night that my coworker Brock and I had a philosophical discussion about the inner psyche of zombies. Man I enjoy working with that kid. He sings terribly but terribly often, and I love it. There's no rhyme or reason to the genres he picks either--they range all over the place. I've been considering switching to the other week. Two new night positions have opened, and the other Melissa and Stevie Boy have tried to convince me. It would be the power week for sure, and I love those two people to death, but I'm not sure if Scooter would go for all of us on the same week, and all of the new people on the other. Plus I would miss Brock, Austen, and Traves. If I could take them with me, it wouldn't even be a question. Having Christmas and Thanksgiving off next year would be nice, school would be easier next semester because I wouldn't have to worry about work as much...at least potentially. He'll probably have both positions filled before I make up my mind.

So the power was out last night when I got home. It was out all around the stadium. All the intersection lights were out the entire way home, and so I was glad to be driving home past midnight when there is no traffic whatsoever. I lit a lot of candles before I realized that I needed to get to sleep. I had a hard time staying at work till that point, though I was wide awake when I got off. I went in two hours late as well. I was home cleaning and watching Planet Earth. And as a complete aside, but one that's related to that train of thought, how cute are baby musk oxen? I think they're pretty much the cutest thing I've ever seen. I couldn't find the pictures of them they had on Planet Earth in the snow, but trust me, they were adorable.

I love my new camera.

And snow. This I took while driving, which will surely lead to my death.

( I still need to post Thanksgiving stuff, but I was using my sister's camera, so I don't have the pictures. I'll do it later though, when I have less school stuff to worry about.)

It snowed yesterday! A lot. And I was surprised how happy it made me. I've been very anxious lately, and not in the best of spirits, because I have this huge research paper due tomorrow, and a presentation where I need to use powerpoint due with it, and I've yet to finish either. I work this week, so it's a problem, and if you know me at all it shouldn't surprise you that presenting in front of people is an equation for disaster where I'm involved. That said, I'm anxious.

So it's amazing how snow can change your whole outlook. Maybe I'm just bipolar. I've actually been seriously considering that lately...it would make sense. Bipolar and anemic, oh the tragic life I lead. But speaking of snow, I had a riot of a time driving yesterday morning. I arrived at work positively giddy after skidding wildly out of control various times, and I mean that without sarcasm intended. In the words of my good friend Mody, I "scream with delight" whenever I lose control of my car in the snow. That's so how I want to die I've decided. I know I'm not the only person to think of how I want to die so I refuse to think of these thoughts as morbid, but while most people settle with 'of natural causes' in their sleep, I have to say that doesn't so much appeal to me. It freaks me out quite frankly. This is probably due to watching a Body Stories video (PBS or Nova style) at work on just that. Basically you're internally bleeding to death or the like, but just don't know it. You're thinking it's indegestion or something. So now when I'm all old, every time I get indegestion I'll think, "I'm dying." No thank you. Nobody wants to drown (at least I don't like the smothering feeling), nobody wants to be burned to death, I personally wouldn't like to freeze to death because I'm a huge baby where cold is concerned, cancer is drawn out...yeah, I think a car accident is totally the way to go. Possibly painful, but I think the euphoria of losing control of my car would make that manageable. I know this for a fact because 2 years ago when I almost hit that dog on the freeway at 4 in the morning, and I swerved to miss it (yeah, I know you're not supposed to do that, but it's more reflexive than you'd think, so don't judge until you've experienced it yourself), my car went wildly careening out of control and my (last) thoughts verbatum were, "this would be so much fun if I weren't about to die." Multiple 180's on the freeway when you're the only one on the road=Screams of delight. Think of rollercoasters. Of course I would never try to get in a car accident, and to be truly happy about it I'd have to be old and it'd have to involve inanimate non-living objects, and not another car, and I'd have to have only have one leg before this point so I can experience the whole phantom limb phenomena (which I've always been curious about)... You have to admit, that's a good way to go. I've already got the getting into accidents with inanimate objects part down (to an exact science actually), so the whole thing is not too far fetched.

And these are just some of the things I think about when I should be studying.

Lacking. Sleep that is.

So a while back I actively decided to post more pictures, wrote just that, and then twice in the last week I was given grief for not having enough. How much can one person do people? Honestly. I decided that the answer to that question was to post a picture with every edition. I can't think of a word better than "edition" right now to take the place of post, which I already used in that sentence. I may be deliriously tired right now. Anyway, this is a picture of Seal and Heidi Klum, because who doesn't think of them every once in a while? Some time ago a friend at work called my extension specifically to ask me if I ever found myself thinking about them, and I realized that every once in a while, I totally do. Of course, not by choice. But I do love trashy magazines every once in a while. I generally don't know half of the people in them since I rarely listen to music on the radio and I don't watch that much tv lately, but I love looking at people that other people have deemed important enough to devote their lives to watching--very fascinating. My little sis calls them my Rags. I also think about Abraham Lincoln.

I haven't so much slept in the last few nights. I was studying the night before last, and then working late Monday because it was my last work day on. Last night I went home, fell asleep reading, and woke up late because my phone (which doubles as my alarm) decided that it lacked the battery power it found to be sufficient. I got to school late, making that 2 of 3 guest speakers I've been late to. My talent at showing up late and having legitimate reasons for doing so grows with every passing day. I found that our guest speaker today was actually a girl I used to play frisbee with. She is a few years older than I, but it was still strange to realize that my peers are now mostly all grown up with real jobs, and here I still am at school. She, like myself, has not been to play Ultimate in quite some time, though her excuse stemmed from having a legitimate life whereas I currently only have a pseudo one. I chatted with her a little after class, mainly because we were waiting for Steven and Steven seems to be drawn towards the front of the class like a bug to the light. He has all of these questions, and motivation that Devin and I will never have. For instance, we have a parasite packet, a research paper, and 2 tests right after Thanksgiving; did we work on any of these endeavors today? Of course not. Did Steven? I'm not sure, but the way he openly worried about them at school today implies a yes to me.

One day this summer--after Devin and I ditched out on our Stats class--we ate dinner at his sister Hoover's house. We then watched AFI's(?) 100 greatest movies of all times. It's amazing how many we hadn't seen, but felt we should. To enhance our knowledge of pop culture. So we made a list, a list which has only grown as time has elapsed, and now we have this ever growing never shrinking list of movies to watch. Today we decided to sacrifice our time towards accomplishing this noble goal we've set, by watching some of these movies in leu of our homework. Actually as it happens, our Micro lab, which was our last class of the day, was canceled. I was so happy. My plan upon ariving home (before my class was canceled) was to take a nap, because I was tired enough today that I actually fell asleep during Micro lecture, and was in an awkward enough position to be snoring ever so slightly. This is usually Devin's role. This probably looked especially bad because Devin and I had been drinking Henry Weinhard's rootbeer and my teacher actually stopped midsentence during our lecture when she noticed the bottles to ask "is that beer?" Just taking the edge off really, is that a crime? Of course I did not go home and sleep after the glorious revelation that I would not have to listen to a guest lecturer for 2 hours and take notes that I would then be required to turn in. As a child I remember waking up one morning and having the most intense desire I've ever had to not want to go to school. I was exhausted, and so I found myself trudging into my parents' room and passing out on the bottom portion of their bed--my older sister was sitting on their bed already in her pajamas, and they with her were watching the news. That was the first snow day I remember having, I was in the third grade I believe, and the moment the news anouncer voiced that I wouldn't have to go to school that day, I was wide awake with joy and excitement. I spent the day with the rest of the neighborhood kids being pulled around in tubes tied with ropes to the back of a neighbor's 4 wheel drive vehicle. That was followed by sledding in my across the street neighbor's yard, for their dad had plowed all of the neighborhood's snow into massive piles on their lawn. We had forts and snow caves everywhere in those mountains of snow. Today was much like that day, only really not at all like that day, minus the no school part. I went home and read by the large window in my living room, enjoying the day light and my very comfortable couch. Then much later Devin and I watched Citizen Kane with crazy bread and soda, whilst my roommates and the like made copius amounts of noise in the background.

If I had as much money as Heidi Klum and Seal, I would definitely have more time to sleep.

Time not spent studying.

So I'm looking at this packet of silica gel that came in the shoes I just bought (you know, to keep them fresh), and it says, "do not eat," (as all silica gel packets do) and I'm thinking to myself, "would anyone capable of reading this actually eat it?" Well, I for one feel lucky that I now won't make that mistake.

I bought a lot of stuff yesterday. i only really kept track of the money I spent in the first store, and the rest is kind of a blur. I only go shopping maybe twice a year for clothes, so I feel it's justifiable, but I'm pretty sure I went overboard. Not enough to regret it, as they're all things I need, but enough that towards the end of the endeavor I felt that grumpy feeling I get when I spend too much time in any store. I really do hate shopping, and the mall, but some things are necessary. I mostly did my own shopping too, even though I had my personal shoppers there. They're the main reason I don't feel the grumpy feeling sooner any more. That was a somewhat awkwardly phrased statement. I finally bought a p coat, something I've wanted since working at Disney. It got surprisingly cold there in the winter--especially at night--and they had these massive black p coats that were the warmest things ever. I so would have stolen it if it wasn't checked out by bar code under my name. The Fantasyland coat I wore my one night working at the pretzel wagon was also very warm, but definitely looked fantasy-ee enough that it wasn't steal-worthy. Anyway, back to the present of yesterday (I realize how redundant that sounds)...

Later that night I went to William James' house and played Guitar Hero for my very first time. We didn't stay long because I'm pretty sure all involved in the shopping felt a little nautious after Victoria Secret. Too many smells in one place for too long of a time. But it was nice to see old friends from high school. I actually still hang out with a lot of my friends from high school, only I don't really consider them as high school friends any longer, on account of us hanging out so much since high school ended 5 years ago. What's weird is running into people from high school that I don't see on a frequent basis. I liked the people then, but that doesn't mean I want to mindlessly chit chat with them. I hate that. If there's something I legitimately want to find out about someone I haven't seen in a while, or vice versa, that's cool, but if it's just about appearing nice and friendly and making conversation where it normally wouldn't be...I have no patience for that. I was never good at it and I hate being forced into it. But that didn't happen, so there you go. I was pretty okay at Guitar Hero, so I can see why people get adicted, but I was no scion by any measure, and I'm pretty sure it gave me carpal tunnel. By the way, speaking of my medical maladies...for anyone who's interested, I do not have leukemia. Kind of dissapointing. I expected my blood smear to show at least something interesting. All I found out is that I have pencil cells in there which means I'm anemic. I pretty much knew that. But it was cool to look around at all my nicely developed red and white blood cells and be proud of myself for that. A little worried that I've had cold like symptems for months and yet I have no extra white blood cells, thus implying my immune system may be crap, but proud nonetheless. The human body really is quite amazing. Such little machinery going on beneath our skin. I pocketed my smears, although I have no idea what I'll do with them now.

If you get through all the nonsense at the first of this post, you'll get to hear about me drawing blood.

I used to have a test tomorrow, but then it was pushed to friday. Ultimately it doesn't make much of a difference because I'm working tomorrow, but it is a bit of a relief...enough of one that I'm writing on here instead of studying...and that I went to dinner tonight with friends instead of studying. Man I love the meatloaf at that pub. I did study before though, and that's something. I really enjoy Microbiology actually, and I don't mind studying for it because it's interesting. But it does tend to make me paranoid. When you spend a year learning about all the different diseases you can get, and what organisms cause them, and all of the everday places you can pick them up... Well, there you go. Right now I'm learning about moulds, which is kind of nice because we do allergen testing at my work for most of them, so I already know the names of the species and genus's for many. And our lab for that class this week consisted of us making slides of molds we obtained from sandwiches, cheese, and random things people brought in. My favorite by far was the Alternaria growing on a pumpkin someone brought it. It looked like little caveman clubs growing off of wood. There's probably a better way I could have described that to do it justice, but I'm not willing to take the effort of making that into sense.

Today was actually a pretty enjoyable day at school, if you take out most of the anxiety ridden moments that preceded the Hematology test I had last. It was my final, I didn't feel ready for it, and I'm really bad at knowing what it is she'll put on there. There's so much to remember, and she has a lot of non multiple choice stuff on there. A lot of diagnosing people and listing the etiology and mechanisms of diseases, and further testing to confirm the diagnosis, and symptoms and treatments and stuff. It's a face full. But that's over with and I'm fine. What I really want to write about is my Intro to Lab lab today.

We finally got to do some phlebotomy today. Very basic stuff, but still pretty cool. Earlier on they broke everyone else in the program up into two groups, so it would be more managable to handle all of us and give us the support and encouragement we needed but could not get with there being so many of us. Not that 32 is a paricularly massive number, but it's more than 2. Anyway, Worm ended up in the group that had that rotation last week and the week before, and Steven and I didn't have it until today. There are three of us in our little posse, which consists of we who work at ACME in the Immunology lab. It took quite the lengthy interview process--wherein I had to commendate my skills and capabilities--before I convinced him to let me stick a needle into his arm. Apparently he has a problem with people drawing his blood, the big baby. I had to point out my steady hands during pipette calibrations, and also my extremely visible veins, which made it easy on both of us where drawing blood was concerned. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty awesome at tying a tourniquet. I actually wasn't so much the first day we did it weeks ago, and we haven't done it since, but for some reason I could today. Maybe it's because someone up there knew Steven would freak out if I showed any signs of weakness today, as to my drawing abilities. But yeah, things went off without a hitch. We both practiced on the fake arm and our techniques were fine the first time, so we moved right onto actual arms. Two of our friends, who are in the other ACME posse, Jacob and Noel, did not fare so well. They both had to practice on the arm one more time, which to be fair was probably because they tried before us, and we got the benefit of learning from their mistakes. But it was awesome watching them draw blood after we were done drawing each others--I don't think I've laughed that hard for a while. I drew first of all of our bay, and it went pretty well. It wasn't perfect, but thanks to Steven's massive veins so close to the surface, I would have had to poke his arm with my eyes closed to miss the mark. Actually, because we were encouraged to not look at the veins, but to instead "feel" them with our "feely" finger (a.k.a. the pointer finger due to it's delicate nerve endings), I bet I could have still got it with my eyes closed. Steven was so worried about hurting me though, and thus his hands were shaking like crazy before and whilst the needle was in my arm. I kept telling him I could care less, but it didn't seem to make a difference; I mean, it was such a small needle, and with that needles don't bother me, and that I donate blood frequently enough and with a much larger needle in my arm--the fact of the matter is that he would have had to stick the needle straight into my median nerve for me to have felt it. Noel drew Jacob's blood after Steven, and it was farely awesome. She had the needle in his arm before she warned him that he was about to "feel a little stick" (we're supposed to warn the person by telling them that before we actually do anything). He was like, "okay..." She didn't so much get his vein as she did not get his vein, but she did leave the tourniquet on his arm for far too long. I have to give him props for being really calm while these events unfolded. So he mentioned that his arm was starting to hurt and the tourniquet came off after the needle came out (a big don't), and Noel quickly grabbed what she thought was a swab, but was actually an alcohol wipe. I think each of them noted in their heads that it was wet before the realization came that something was not quite right, and at that point Noel got the real swab and switched it. But not before exacting it's tole. I don't think it hurt a lot, but I would imagine it stinging at least a little. Jacob's needle went through Noel's vein, spurted a little in the tube as he pulled it out a bit, and stopped when he pulled it out too much only to reconvene it's exit through the skin of her arm. Again, full marks for professionalism. He's the guy that would draw your blood and could completely mutilate your arm with a needle while doing so, and the only thing you'd think afterwards is, "wow, what a nice guy that was that drew my blood." All in all it was a wonderful learning experience for all of us.

This is Noel trying very hard to evade Jacob's swinging fist, which I don't think he realized was so wildly out of control while trying to tie that tourniquet. And of course Steven and Jacob smiling in anticipation.
This is me and Steven with the tube of my blood after I got got. And there's Jacob and Noel again, with him wafting the alcohol wiped area dry--very important stuff. If you see a blond lady in the background, that's Donna, one of our lab teaching assistants. She likes us the best.

Leukemia Shmemia

I am officially sick of school. I have been to a degree almost since the beginning of school, but now I've really had it. I can't take it anymore! Only I will. But just know I'm ready to be done. I have my last Hematology Practical on Wednesday, and did I mention I'm not ready? Partially because of procrastination, and not enough time to study even if I hadn't, and partially because when I do study I'm too anxious to remember anything for this class. This class makes me anxious. And if I do badly I might have to retake it. I would hate to be put on probation, especially when Heme II starts next week. I don't even know how that would work out. I can't take this class again because I could not stand to. Hopefully I'm just working myself up, and when it comes down to it things will work out. But I do have a practical, a lot of differential cell counts to perform, and an Immunology compresensive final...all to be completed this week.

And so it stands to reason that I spent no time this weekend studying. This is how I'm doing so well in that class. I visited family, watched tv, I cleaned my house, I cut up 10 lbs of chicken breasts my mother sent me home with, went to a concert, I caught up with some friends that live in Provo, I watched a session of conference I missed, and today I went to the movies with friends at the dollar theater, then went to Graywhale to buy music. It's not really my fault they had a buy 2 get 1 free music sale I couldn't miss. And I went to breakfast at V.I. with Worm. I have work tomorrow, which makes me sad, but I got part of Thursday off to study, so we'll see how that works out. Wednesday should be pretty ghastly in and of itself. And so I end this post to instead study slides of leukemias that I will need to be able to identify comfortably in two days time.