Neglect at its finest.

Ah, the forgotten blog. I feel bad about this, but I'm at a point where I can give you no love. Maybe when school ends, and I'm back from Germany, I'll be able to give you the love you deserve. Some new pictures to spruce up your wall, some meaningful thoughts... And to make it worse I have been frequenting facebook quite often. I thought it was stupid when I first logged on, but have since changed my mind. Along with the high school friends I don't mind having on there, there are all the college friends who I haven't seen in quite some time, work friends, old single's ward friends, Florida friends, good friends not in Utah... And for every stupid application there is one that is a gem, and totally addictive. Like Owned! I've been buying people like crazy, except for all of my expensive friends. They'll have to wait. It's surprising how many people have bought me, and if that doesn't bolster your ego, I don't know what will. They're all strangers, and they can't view my profile, just the picture. When you get bought by some dude in Norway, your day has come.

(this is in no way affiliated with the facebook appy, but I still like it)

So school ends very soon. I'm so excited, and so panicked, I don't know what to do. I have a paper due, multiple case studies, 3 finals to study for, and still I don't know what to do. I need to finish my paper on porphyrias for starters. Then study micro. I can put off Clin Chem for one more day, but I don't know when I'm going to fit coag in once I start work Tuesday. I probably ought to start studying today, which means I really need to get off of the internet. I also need to pack. I think that will happen in a rush and will most likely be disastrous. But I'm going to Germany! Emmy mostly has done the planning, so it will be a surprise what we do for the most part, but I was told to buy hazelnut icecream from the street venders, so if anyone else has suggestions, look no farther than here. Post em, email em, text em... I really would like to get the most out of this experience, but I have zero planning time. Not that doesn't come without the guilt of not studying anyway. I'm not sure how I manage to do all this other stuff without guilt actually.

Plan B

I haven't written in a while. School has me in a corner. A corner of unhappiness. Extreme unhappiness. That's all I'm going to say about that, except that I'm sick of multiple weekly tests, papers, presentations, case studies abounding, and random homework assignments to fill in all the spaces of time we don't have when we've rarely had homework up to this point. This last month was poorly planned amongst my professors, and I haven't a drop of motivation left in me.

On that happy note, I finished my blook bank presentation today, have a paper due tomorrow, 2 tests the next day and then I have no more classes. Sure, I have 3 finals the week next, but I don't work any of the days working up to it, so I'm pretty psyched. I think I'm going to do my paper on porphyrias (the disease that helped bring about myths of vampires and wherewolves), and I've already researched to the point where I don't think it will be too difficult, once I force myself to bust it out, which I will do at work tonight. I haven't quite decided what I'm going to do about my tests on Wednesday, but I take comfort in the knowledge that if I can just manage to not fail, I won't have another damn class till at next November. If I do fail, I won't have to take any tests/classes until a much longer time period, but that is not the preferable option as I would be retaking classes...and if I have no motivation now, I sure as well won't have any more next year.

Likely I'll quit school and join the circus. This has been my plan for some time (almost as long as I've been attending college), but I have yet to find and perfect a skill that would make me desireable to the circus. I can't juggle, I like heights but my legs always shake even when I'm not at all scared, and clowns are a diabolical invention. I suppose I could take hromones and grow a mustache and beard, but I think it would be itchy, and I don't think the circus likes to expose the freaks as they once did. I know the circus sometimes gets a bad wrap for the exposition of animals and subsequent cruelty, but after reading the Life of Pi, I think maybe it might be not be so bad after all, perhaps. If the trainer makes himself the top dog to a bunch of lions, and they think he's the top lion because in the wild a real lion would be in his place and they would instinctively be stepping down and subjecting themselves to him...who are we to say it isn't just as good as how it happens in nature, especialy if the animal doesn't know any different? Dogs have been made to believe they're human, and I learned on a podcast not to long ago that there do exist retirement homes for retired show biz chimps, and they can watch tv whenever they want. Just a thought, and I'm probably wrong, but if I'm going to work for the circus I must tell myself these things.

April 6th, 2008

Have I mentioned that I really love the idea of writing about things I've done on here and posting pictures of said things? In theory it's a marvelous thing, but I never quite get it in practice. I enjoy writing stuff, and can accomplish such with little to no thought or effort on my part. Yet the picture thing eludes me. I have them (I take pictures of everything for no reason whatsoever most of the time, except for the obvious reason of that I enjoy doing so), but downloading them onto my computer and from there arranging them onto here is more work than I usually have the desire to undertake. I think it's the ADD present in me. My sort of friend Jerry complained that no pictures on a blog is "lame," and I kind of agree with him. I'm a visual person, and it's nice to have things grab you like that, thus being the reason why I have so many bloody pictures in the first place. Nevertheless, that's what happened to the Mexico post, Semi Fun Week, Easter...so don't be holding your breath for them. I would eventually like to put them on here though. I will untill then inevitably write it off as something I will hopefully do when I'm less busy. As is usually the case though, when one has the time to write there is nothing to write, and when there is something of interest to depart there are better things to do than to write and download pictures. It's so much easier to get them randomly from the internet. Case in point.
As usual I will blame my lack of a desire towards any forward movement, on school and work. The fact that they force me forward with so many things makes me all the more likely to dig in my heals when it comes to every other aspect of my life that I have to force in any way. My room is still half-way cleaned, half-way wanting to be cleaned, as is the case with my car, and every other project I have. That, of course, being what I'm naturally good at. I have unfinished projects stemming from the very earliest parts of my childhood. I have an elaborate nativity set of handstitched dolls/animals with wood, leather, cloth and metal components (for realism's sake) I started making for my grandmother at the age of 10 (and the parts I finished are rather impressive if I do say so myself), a miniature model of my house I started when I was about 12 (only the basement of which I finished, and which I ultimately stopped because as time elapsed my real life house changed enough that it became difficult to render the model in the way I had wanted to), wooden marionette puppets in various degrees of creation from my marrionette puppet phase... These days I still have that damn mountain dew tree, my ImmunoCAP 1000 pinata, countless clay things, photo albums, writings... Bah.

I started cleaning my room while watching Conference today. It made me wish there were more days of Conference to look forward to, because I can always relax and think of good and productive things when watching Conference, and I don't feel badly about putting off unpleasant thoughts, like papers and projects due. Of course, I will not be able to watch the rest of Conference (though I will still download and listen to it), and so I must instead get geared up for work over the next few days, and writing papers and making projects. Thankfully this is not too bad of a feat. I mean, busy work like this semester comprises is time consuming, and I have a natural tendency to avoid it, but when I actually make myself do it I find myself enjoying it. I like writing. I like coming up with random power point presentations. I hate the time limits entailed, but you can't have everything. I even like work when I'm not bored, and things are starting to pick up since Summer is prime allergy testing season. I will end with a picture of the baby I am using in my power point presentation of Hemolytic Disease of the Newborn. I think anytime a baby is wearing tye dye clothing, it should be worked into any and every presentation possible.